I’m thirteen, and I’m just a child compared to the girls that Dean goes to school with. I’m not even in high school yet. I’m just Spencer’s younger sister and Dean’s neighbor. No one knows that we’re best friends or that I’m secretly in love with him.
No one knows but me… well, and Spence.
Sooner or later, he will want to go on dates, kiss someone, and even have sex. And I’ll just be the girl who’s too young for any of that.
Spencer told me all about sex last year. I forced her to after I found a package of condoms in her room, so I now know everything, and I understand that it’s not something I want to do any time soon.
With a sigh, I dig my spoon into our banana split and take a massive bite. Every year for each of our birthdays, we visit this same ice cream shop and share a banana split, minus the bananas because they’re mushy and gross. So, basically, it’s just a split or a very large ice cream sundae. Whatever you want to call it.
“Will you wear that purple dress I like? It’s my birthday, so you have to do whatever I ask you to do,” Dean says around a mouthful of ice cream.
I giggle at his full mouth. “Okay, fine. So, birthday boy, what are we doing next?” I let him have the last bite of ice cream. It is his birthday, after all. He eats it without argument.
After we clean up our trash and begin walking down the sidewalk, slowly, Dean takes my hand in his, intertwines our fingers, and leads me back toward his new car.
“Let’s just drive around and listen to some music?” he suggests.
“Okay!” I break free of his grip and clap my hands together. His touch is nice, but sometimes I get too nervous and unsure what to do when he touches me. I see him giving me a questioning look, so to avoid making things awkward, I stick my tongue out at him and run toward the car, knowing he’ll be racing right alongside me.
I don’t know how to act around him lately. Sometimes he looks at me a little too long, making me nervous. I don’t want to do or say anything stupid, but I also don’t want him to get the wrong idea. I've matured physically since last summer. I have boobs now, and my figure is beginning to shape nicely.
Thanks to health class and an older sister, I'm aware of all the changes that my body is going through—and Dean’s body, too. But I’m not ready to do any of the teenage things that Spencer does with Dallas.
Dean unlocks the door once we reach the car, and I reclaim my rightful seat as passenger. “I’m going to call my mom and let her know we’ll be out for a while,” he explains, and I nod.
He starts the car, and I watch as he pulls out his phone and dials his mom to tell her that we’ll be out for a while, driving his new car around. Instead of waiting for him, I climb out of the car and run across to the corner store to get us snacks for our drive. I don’t know how far we are going or how long we’ll be gone, but that doesn’t matter. We both like having snacks around for any reason and any length of time.
After paying for our snacks with the cash my parents have given me, I race back to Dean and take my place in the passenger seat.
Minutes later, we're off on the open road.
Dean takes the backroads, and I’m pretty sure we’ll end up getting lost, but I don’t care. I’ll go anywhere and get lost with Dean as long as we are together. It doesn’t matter. We can end up breaking down on a backroad, and the only thing that'll matter is that we’re together.
My heart thumps in my chest at the thought.
“What’s on your mind? You’re silent over there.” Dean breaks our silent streak. I look over at him, a grin spreading across my face.
“Nothing, just thinking that we need some music.” I lean forward and turn the radio on, flipping through the stations until I find a song I recognize. “What You Got” by Colby O’Donis blasts through the speakers while I sit back in my seat, put my feet on the dash, and sing my heart out through mouthfuls of candy.
This is freedom. This is living the good life and living freely with the person who makes your young heart beat. I’ll always remember today as being one of the best days of my life.
We don't speak much during our drive, but Dean and I don’t always need to be talking. We’re both comfortable enough with each other to simply enjoy the silence.
He reaches over and slowly takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together and squeezing gently. His thumb traces circles on the back of my hand while he drives. His eyes remain on the road while my eyes are on him.
This is twice today that he’s held my hand and touched me as more than just a friend. I like it.
Quickly, I use my free hand to take out my pink Razr cell phone and capture a quick picture of him, setting it as my home screen. He looks over at me briefly, the shutter of my camera giving me away. Luckily for me, he doesn’t mind. Good thing, because he looks so cute with one hand on the wheel, eyes on the road, and a carefree smile on his face. I couldn’t resist taking the photo, especially with his hand being in mine. I want to lock this moment in time forever.
At this moment, I’ve never been happier than I am right now with my best friend.
We drive aroundfor what feels like hours. When we finally return home, I wave him goodbye and run home to shower and get ready for his birthday party tonight. My parents are helping Dean’s parents set up for the party next door, so Spencer is the only one home.
Knowing she’s home and hoping she’ll help me, I rush to her door and burst into her lavender-painted bedroom.
“Knock next time!” she yells, jumping away from Dallas with a guilty expression, her lips red and swollen from kissing. I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.
“You’re lucky I’m not mom or dad. You know the rules, no boys in the room with the door closed.” She climbs off the bed and mirrors how I’m standing.