I jump into the game, and it takes a couple of minutes to get the hang of shooting with the bow and arrow. The controller vibrates slightly with tension as I pull back the bow. I aim and shoot, completely missing my mark.
Orcs stalk toward the gate in various colors, from bright orange, like Cheetos, to gray, spiky helmet goblins.
“Hey, Olive,” a young female voice chimes through the headset.
“Hello?” I didn’t realize that there was a microphone on, and the other players can hear me!
“My aunt is playing,” Olivia shouts from nearby. She’s far enough away to ensure I don’t knock into her since I can’t see anything outside the headset but loud enough for the other player to overhear.
I shoot an orc in the chest. “Why didn’t he die?” The orc lifts the ax in his hand and throws it at my head.
“Duck!” Olivia shouts.
But it’s too late.
I grimace and wince as a screen of red warns me that I’m out.
“It’s okay. You’ll come back in the next wave,” Olivia encourages as I stand there staring at the scoreboard.
I suck, but it could be worse for my first time playing.
And I don’t want to admit that even playing for a few seconds was a lot of fun.
Another player jumps into my box where I’m standing and shoots me with an arrow. “You’re back,” he says. He has a thick Russian accent, and it’s evident in his tone that he’s not a child.
“What?” I’m momentarily stunned, unsure what to do.
“Shoot orcs,” he commands. His username pops up in small orange letters when he speaks: Bearded Bad Boy.
Inwardly, I groan. Of course that’s his screen name. Except boy doesn’t quite describe the voice I hear. It should be man. Bearded Bad Man. No, that doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
“On it.” I turn toward the gate where the orcs are approaching and string my bow, firing one shot after another. My aim isn’t much better, but I at least duck to avoid the next ax thrown at my head.
“You’re a quick study,” Bearded Bay Boy says.
I have half a mind to ask him what makes him such a bad boy, but Olivia is in the room, and I don’t need our brief conversation turning dirty.
Gosh, it’s been too long since I’ve conversed with a man, let alone bedded one. My thoughts are far too impure. Maybe taking my mind off the sound of a sexy man’s voice and focusing on shooting mythical creatures will help.
As we slaughter all the orcs, the wave ends, and twenty seconds later, the next wave begins when it pops up on the screen, wave 35. There isn’t much time for a break.
“Shit,” I curse, glancing up as several green dragons fly across the sky. The Russian and the younger girl who seems to know Olivia shoot them down. I breathe a sigh of relief as I shoot at the incoming orcs as they tread across the bridge.
Each level grows more complex and more intense. “You’re not too bad for a newb,” the Russian says.
“First time,” I say with a laugh. At least they’re not asking me to leave so another player can come in and play. I wouldn’t feel bad if they did. I royally suck.
The game is fast-paced, but we don’t make it much longer as a giant red dragon blows fire on the other players, leaving me to save the gate.
And I fail epically. “Good game,” the Russian says. I toggle the button to quit and remove the headset, my blood boiling.
“Does your mom know you play this game with grown men?” I can’t fathom that my sister has any idea what her daughter is up to online.
Olivia scoffs and grabs the headset and controllers from me in haste. “It’s fine. It’s not like we’re trading nudes. Don’t be like Grandma.”
“Caring?”
“Controlling and overprotective,” Olivia says. “I know not to give my address to a grown man on the internet. Relax, it’s fine.”