31
Tristan’s searing gaze is all I see as my body explodes in a release so powerful, spots dot my vision.I don’t know what the hell kind of sex magic he just performed on my body, but I can’t wait to do it again.
He pumps into me twice more before his body stiffens and his jaw clenches.Even with a condom on, I can feel his dick twitch with his release.He sags on top of me, but still holds most of his body weight up with his arms as he rests his forehead on mine.His lips find mine, and my heart swells in my chest as he kisses me with so much passion and hunger, even after his release.
With a groan, he gently pulls out of me, and I wince at how sensitive I am down there.Tristan is larger than I’m used to, and it’s been a very long time since I’ve had sex.
“You okay?”he asks, rolling onto his side and brushing a sweaty strand of hair back from my face.I mirror his pose and can’t stop the smile taking over my face or the blush on my cheeks.
“I’m more than okay.That was amazing.”
He smiles, and there’s relief in his eyes.I try not to let my insecurities show as I ask, “Was it okay for you?”
His blue eyes seem to sparkle as he leans down, his face a breath away from mine.“It was better than I ever imagined.”He kisses me again and my heart soars.I could get lost in this man’s kiss.It’s powerful and hungry.It’s a claiming kiss if there ever was one.And God do I want this man to claim me.
“I need to take care of this,” he says, gesturing to the condom.“Be right back.”He slides out of bed, and I watch his naked ass walk to my adjoining bathroom.No man’s ass should be that perfect.It’s unfair.I do squats regularly and still don’t have a bubble butt that nice.
Tristan saunters back with a smile on his face and crawls back into bed next to me.We lie facing each other, my hands tucked under my cheek and one of his sliding deliciously over my hip.
“What’s the frown for?”he asks, his own smile turning down.
Am I frowning?I didn’t even realize.I nibble my lip, trying to put into words how I’m feeling.
Tracing the tattoos on his chest, I focus my gaze on the motions of my finger instead of meeting his eyes.
“I’ve never been with anyone besides Robbie.”
“I know,” he says, his voice soft.
“I’ve felt so guilty for having feelings for you, for wanting you this way, but I don’t regret what we just did, or how mind-blowing it was.But now I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.I mean, shouldn’t I be nauseous right now, or feeling like I’m cheating on my dead husband?I shouldn’t feel this good.Right?”
I look at him finally, hoping he understands what I’m trying to say and wishing he could see the mess in my head so I wouldn’t have to try to vocalize what I’m feeling.He’s quiet for a long time, or at least it feels like a long time.His fingers never stop their graceful trail along my hip as he processes my words.
“I think it’s okay to feel how you feel.”
“How do you feel?”I ask him.
His blue gaze holds mine.“Like I just got everything I’ve ever wanted.”
My body tingles with warm fuzzies, and I wish I could bottle up this feeling for all the hard days.I want to tell him he gave me the best sex of my life, but I can’t make the words come out.It feels disloyal to Robbie’s memory because the sex was never bad with him.It was just never likethat.
“I have a question for you,” he says.
“Okay.”
“Why do you think guys don’t like giving oral?”
I bury my face in my hands.“Oh my God, it’s embarrassing, especially after you were just down there.”
He tugs on my hands, and I turn my head to face him.“Yeah, and in case you don’t remember, I fucking loved it.I plan to do it again.Often.I’d live down there if you’d let me, but that might make the tour a little awkward.”
I laugh and push his chest.He moves—barely—and his muscles almost distract me from what we’re talking about.
“Did Robbie tell you that?”he asks.
“Yeah.We rarely did oral because he said guys didn’t really like it.”I watch Tristan’s face transform to shock which he quickly tries to hide, but he does a shit job of it, and my stomach falls.Becka and Tamsin were right.
“Did I look like I didn’t like it?”he asks carefully.