9
Pulling up to Jolie’s house, I scan the front yard, satisfaction thrumming under my skin at how good it looks and knowing it’s one thing I was able to take off her plate.With the anniversary of Robbie’s death looming near, I want to take as much as I can off her shoulders.I put the car in park and take the keys out of the ignition, but don’t make a move to get out yet.
I thought it was hard to be around Jolie when she was dating—and then married to—Robbie, but it was nothing compared to the torture of knowing she’s single and still as unattainable as she’s always been.I’d resolved myself to the fact she could never be mine and tried to be content seeing how happy she was with my best friend.
But she’s not happy anymore, and it’s fucking killing me that I can’t make her smile like she used to, that I can’t put that spark of life back in her eyes.That she’ll never see me as anything more than Robbie’s best friend.
With a heavy breath, I’m about to get out of the car when my phone rings, Jolie’s name flashing across the screen.I answer immediately.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Tristan.Are you busy right now by chance?”She sounds frazzled.
“I actually just pulled up to your house.I was gonna see if you wanted to grab some Chinese and get out of the house for a while.”
“Oh thank God,” she says, and my gaze darts to the front door when she pulls it open.Her hair is half in a ponytail, the rest falling chaotically around her face.Her heather-gray shirt is fitted around her breasts, but falls loosely down the rest of her torso until it meets the faded blue denim of her jeans.She’s wearing her favorite pair of Chucks.
She looks just as beautiful now as she did the first time I saw her, and my mouth waters, but then I see her eyes and my heart feels like it’s trapped in my throat.Her previously vibrant green eyes are dull, even from this distance, and there’s a downturn to her mouth which never used to be there.
I get out of the car and make my way toward her, my long strides getting me to her quickly.
“Everything okay?”
She blows out a breath that fans the hair around her face and then brushes it away with her hands.“Um, not really.I feel completely inadequate.”Her voice shakes and I take a step closer, my fingers twitching at my sides to hold her.
“Why?What’s wrong?”
“I feel so ridiculous.”Her eyes fill with frustrated tears, and she shakes her head, her cheeks turning the shade of pink they do when she’s embarrassed.
I step closer until our toes are almost touching and bend my head and lower my body so she can’t avoid eye contact.Our proximity makes my heart race, but I’m more focused on whatever it is causing her such distress.“What’s wrong, Jo?”
“I got a fancy new desk because I finally started going through all my photography stuff and was tired of using the kitchen table.”My heart leaps hearing she’s been looking at her photos, knowing she hasn’t touched any of her photography stuff since Robbie died.“I’ve been trying to put it together for three hours, but the stupid instructions don’t make any sense, and nothing looks like the pictures, and I think I might be missing parts, and—”
I grab her upper arms, the contact making my fingers tingle.“Okay, take a breath.You need help putting it together?”
With a defeated sigh, her watery eyes connect with mine and she croaks out, “Yes, please.”
“Okay.”
She blinks several times.“That’s it?Okay?I have a mini-meltdown on my porch over a goddamn desk and you show up like some kind of white knight and it’s no big deal for you?”
“Pretty much.”
She shakes her head and brushes the hair that’s once again fallen in her face back behind her ears.“I think I’m really losing it, Tris.I’m a fucking mess and here you are, calm as can be.”
If she had any idea of the storm she stirs up in me, she’d realize my calm is only surface deep.It’s an act I’ve perfected over the last decade.
“Come on.Let’s go inside and take care of this desk.”
I start to walk past her, but her small delicate fingers grip my arm, holding me back.The skin heats where her fingers touch me.
“Thank you, Tristan.I don’t know what I’d do without you.”She stares at me, her eyes softening at the edges in a way that makes my heart ache so much it hurts to breathe.
“You’ll never have to find out,” I say.Her mouth parts in an O, and there’s a flicker of something in her eyes that makes me worry I gave too much of myself away.So I quickly add, “Robbie would’ve wanted me to look out for you.”
Her mouth closes and her gaze drops to the ground.“Right, Robbie,” she says so quietly I would’ve missed it if I were any farther away.
She looks back up at me, and whatever was in her eyes a moment ago is gone now, and a part of me wonders if I imagined it.