I didn’t know if I would ever get over him.
And yet, as crazy as the idea was, I couldn’t bring myself to say no right away like I should’ve. Because traveling the world with Bart? God, it would be magical. It would be so many dreams I had never even let myself dream.
It would be the experience of a lifetime with a man I’d had feelings for for at least half of mine. It would also be absolutely fucking insane to say yes.
Which begs the question, why haven’t I said no yet?
CHAPTER7
BART
Serenity looked so taken aback that I worried I’d crossed a giant line. We’d barely talked for six years—what the hell had I been thinking, leading with something like this for pretty much our first conversation?
The truth of it was that I hadn’t been thinking. She’d been telling me all about her troubles and it had broken my heart to see her so upset when I knew that I could help her without even breaking a sweat. One call to my finance guy and more money than she needed would’ve been in her account, and yet, that look in her eyes when I’d offered to give her the money had knocked my brain off its axis.
All I’d wanted to do was help. I cared about her, and obviously, I would like to help her achieve her dreams. I knew she was good, and hell, if so many people had told her the same thing, that meant I didn’t just think it because I was more than a little biased.
When she still hadn’t said anything five solid minutes after I’d asked, I grinned nervously. “Well?”
Her head rocked from side to side, and at the sound of my voice, she visibly shook herself out of her head. “I don’t know, Bart. I just don’t know if I’d be comfortable with that.”
“Why not?” I asked, frowning as I took a half step closer to her and fixed my gaze on hers. “What makes you uncomfortable?”
She chuckled softly. “It would feel too much like getting paid for sex, and sex and intimacy have always held a lot of importance to me. I don’t like the thought of it feeling transactional, and more than that, I don’t know if I could take your money for something I’ve been giving you for free for years.”
I almost sputtered. “You think I asked you to come for sex?”
“No,” she admitted. “I know that you asked me to come so you wouldn’t have to go alone. I get that, but you know as well as I do what will happen if we end up traveling together for months on end. If it does, and it will, you’d essentially have paid me for the sex we had.”
“Our travels would be completely platonic,” I assured her. “There would be no pressure or expectation of sex. Just the two of us traveling and experiencing new things as friends. I’d never want to put you in a position where you’re uncomfortable. I just want to help, and frankly, my trip would be a lot more fun if someone I actually enjoy being around came with me.”
She hesitated for another minute, but then, to my utter surprise, she seemed to come to a decision. I braced myself for her to say no, but she fucking nodded. Throwing herself at me in a sudden hug, I opened my arms and she slammed into them. We almost kissed when she did but she pulled completely away at the last second.
“Okay, I’ll go.” She laughed awkwardly as I held her. “I’ll come with you. Of course, I’ll come with you. I can’t believe I almost said no. This is going to be awesome.”
Itwasgoing to be awesome, but it was also going to be harder than I’d thought to keep things platonic with her when I’d almost kissed her just because she’d come in for a hug. Before I could think too much about it, though, she pulled out of my arms and smiled at me excitedly.
“So, where are we going first?” she asked. “You said you were leaving next week, so I’m assuming you’ve got our first destination all planned out?”
“I do,” I said. “Our first adventure will be traveling to Iceland and seeing the Northern Lights. That one’s for my dad. It was something that he desperately wanted to do and it feels like a good way to kick it all off.”
Her smile grew sad as she nodded. “It definitely will be a good way to kick it all off. Paying homage to the man whose list started it all.”
“Is there anywhere you’d like to go?” I asked. “We could come up with a few other items for our list together. Dad’s also included seeing the pyramids and scuba diving. How about skydiving?”
“No,” she said immediately, her head shaking hard and fast. “That would be way too frightening for me. How about a hot air balloon ride instead?”
“Done,” I agreed, pulling my phone out of my back pocket and adding a balloon ride to the list. “What else?”
She laughed. “Give a girl a minute. I’ve only just found out that I’m going to be traveling the world for the next few months. Jeez. I can’t come up with more things to do while I’m still processing this.”
“Do you want me to tell you what I’ve already planned?” I offered her my arm and then dropped it again when I realized it was another habit of the past making its appearance.
She noticed the movement, sighing softly before she pulled back her shoulders and nodded. “Sure. It’s still a little surreal for me, though. I can’t promise it will sink in that we’re actually doing it until we leave.”
“Truth?” I asked, and when she looked up at me and nodded, I took a deep breath. “It’s all still a little surreal for me, too. Not just that you’re coming, but that my dad is gone, the company has been sold, and that I’m about to take off to see the world.”
“Thanks for telling me,” she said, then dipped her head back in the direction of the house. “We can keep talking about it, but I’m sure they’re looking for you by now. Tanner seemed quite invested in those cocktails he mixed up. He’s definitely going to expect you to have at least one of them.”