“What, so they can visit you in Newgate? What about our oath, our blood pact? Or was it something you did just to appease me?”
“I didn’t mean to fall in love.” It had happened by some miracle, by some wonderful twist of fate. “But Helen is an exceptional woman, and I want her for my wife.”
“And so you’ve been deceiving me, blatantly lying to my face.”
The innkeeper arrived with a tankard of ale. Sebastian gulped it down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as a means of intimidation.
“I haven’t lied. I meant to abide by the oath and may have lived a bachelor’s life had some devil not murdered Charles Holland.”
“Perhaps you did kill him. Perhaps this is all a ruse to gain Helen’s sympathy. One thing is certain. The man I’ve known for ten years would never stab a brother in the back.”
“And you’ve become a selfish bastard since Michael died.” He touched his fingers to his throbbing cheek. “You sabotage every relationship, as you’re doing now, because you never want to feel a pain so horrendous again.”
“Don’t speak about my brother.”
He had known Sebastian would be obstinate, downright stubborn. Helen was right. Those close to him had supported his behaviour for far too long.
You must learn to say no from time to time.
It will be better for him in the end.
Nicholas stood abruptly. “Trying to reason with you is pointless. Your interests are self-serving. I’ve been there for you when you needed me, yet you abandon me in my hour of need.”
“You ruined my damn sister.”
“We’re in love. And I mean to marry her as soon as I’ve found the bastard who murdered Charles.” He looked at his friend with a mix of pity and frustration. “Not that you give a damn about helping me prove my innocence.”
Nicholas turned on his heel and was halfway across the taproom when his friend called, “Wait!”
He stopped and inhaled deeply.
If Sebastian offered an olive branch, he would take it.
He turned and strode back to the table. “Why, so you can hurl more accusations I know are true?” He hated admitting to his failings. He was far from blameless. “I love Helen, yet I placed her in a precarious position. I can see the hypocrisy in that, and understand why you’re angry.”
Sebastian gestured to the stool, then called the innkeeper and ordered two tankards of ale.
Nicholas sighed but joined him at the table.
For a while, Sebastian said nothing but then surprised Nicholas by uttering, “I’ve always known … about you and Helen, I mean.”
“What?”
“I’ve seen how she looks at you.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“I thought it was nothing more than a young woman’s infatuation.” He rubbed the palm of his right hand and winced. “I thought if I spoke about suitors, I would get a true sense of how she feels.”
“And you didn’t think to ask her?”
“You’re like a brother to her, Nicholas. I didn’t want to put ideas into her head, and I hoped, with the right attention, she might come to admire someone else.”
Was that the reason he had increased her dowry?
“You don’t want her to marry me?” he asked, confused why a man who saw him as a brother didn’t think he was good enough.
Muttering to himself, Sebastian scrubbed a hand over his face. He met Nicholas’ gaze, the torment in his eyes evident.