The question is innocent enough, but it makes me realize that I’ve divulged too much information.
Maybe he thinks I’m crazy. Maybe he’s one of those ignorant people who thinks a shrink equals a psych ward.
Not that I care.
Jesus.
I lift my chin. “Yeah, I do.”
“Refer me.”
I stare at him for a second too long. Doubtful doesn’t even begin to explain my emotions. “Are you for real?”
“Have I ever lied to you?”
“Countless times.”
“That wasn’t lying. I was giving you choices. Not my fault you go for the hard ones.” He nudges my shoulder with his, and I swear I nearly catch fire where he touches me. “I’m serious about the referral.”
“You would willingly go to a shrink?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Because he’s too assertive in his sick ways, that’s why. People who go to shrinks hope to become better, but I’m pretty sure Killian thinks this is the best version of himself.
“You realize you’re sick and need therapy?” I try to take a jab at him.
“No, I just want to see the face of the person you tell your deepest, darkest secrets to.”
Of course the bastard just wants to get on my nerves.
“Why are those weirdos watching you like creeps?” Anni interrupts our intense eye contact, and I break it to focus on where she’s tilting her head.
I groan. “Never mind them. I’m not really liked in my class because they think I get preferential treatment for who my mum is. Even my professor likes to criticize me more than he does them. So I’ve just gotten used to it.”
Killian hums for a beat, then stares at me. “What’s the name of the professor?”
“Skies. Why are you asking?”
“Just curious.” He smiles and if I were to see him on TV for the first time, I’d find him charming, crushworthy even, but unfortunately, I know what hides beneath that smile too well. “By the way, you should go to sleep early tonight. No roaming in weird places.”
“What are you now, my father?”
“Shouldn’t that be frowned upon in your moral code, considering I plan to fuck you?”
I choke on my own spit and Annika grins like an idiot. “Never mind me, guys. Think of me as a wallflower.”
Killian doesn’t seem to notice she exists in the first place.
“I mean it. No going out.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Be good.”
A shudder goes through me. I can’t help it. Ireally, really can’t help it and I hate how vulnerable this makes me feel.
Even as I pull away from him. As I stare at the distance and try to ignore him.
But he uses Annika to make me talk, and he asks all sorts of questions about uni and art and my professors. Whenever I refuse to answer, he starts being a wanker.
It’s scary how fast he can flip from the amicable version of himself to the insufferable one.