“As I said, I saved you. You should learn to become more grateful.”
“That was assault, Killian.”
“Call it whatever you like.” He tilts his head in my direction, a dark gleam shining in his eyes. “By the way, I like the sound of my name on your lips.”
“Then you won’t be hearing it anymore.”
“You know, defying me every step of the way will only tire you. It could be so much better and easier if you enjoy this and try to free yourself.”
“And let me guess, I’ll have to give in to your every whim?”
“It’s highly recommended.”
“I would rather choke to death.”
“I can make that happen, but I prefer feeling that wild pulse in your neck.”
My palms turn sweaty and I rub them against the sides of my shorts. There’s no need to guess if these are casual words or not, because I have no doubt that this psycho would make them come true.
He’s really unhinged.
“You should work on quitting that habit.” He motions at my palms that are slowly going up and down. “It gives away your discomfort. Or is it anxiety? Maybe nervousness? Or the three combined?”
It hits me then.
If he’s like Lan, then he doesn’t process emotions like the rest of us. It’s not only about a lack of empathy for these guys. They literally don’t see emotions through the same lenses as normal people.
Almost every single socially acceptable emotion they have to portray is gradually learned through their environment. Little by little, they perfect their outer image to the point where they’re indistinguishable in a crowd.
But if anyone gets close, close enough to see behind the façade, they find out just how dysfunctional, how cardboard they are.
How…lonely they actually get.
Lan has never liked how Bran and I get along—how alike we are—because he can’t fit in with us. He thinks he reigns over us, but I’ve almost always pitied his lone wolf status.
He’ll never know how to love properly, laugh properly, experience joy, or even feel pain properly.
He’s a mash of molecules, atoms, and matter with complete and utter emptiness for which he needs constant stimuli to keep filled up to the brim.
Like a house of cards, he can scatter at any second.
He’ll never live like the rest of us.
And neither will Killian.
I just feel zero sympathy for this bastard.
And that’s why I can provoke him.
“Giving away my emotions is my business. At least I have those unlike a certain someone.”
“Is this the part where I should act offended? Maybe try to shed a tear or two?”
“Yeah, and look into ways to grow a heart while you’re at it.”
“The world won’t function correctly if all of us are emotional, morally right creatures. There needs to be a balance, or else there’ll be chaos.”
“Are you kidding me? You guys are the ones who instigate chaos.”