So I take the picture and upload it on Instagram with the caption:
I finally found my type. Older men, yum.
Before I can start backpedaling and thinking of the consequences, I hit Post.
Then I walk to my car in front of the dorm, slide inside, and drum my fingers against the steering wheel.
One minute passes.
My phone lights up with the thousandth call from Killian that I ignore like the rest.
So he switches to texts.
Who is that and does he know he’ll die as soon as I find you?
I know you’re provoking me on purpose and it’s fucking working. My promise to have you bounce on my cock in his blood is also still in working motion.
Delete that and talk to me before I start showing my devil side, Glyndon.
I told you that if you leave me on Read again, things will take a turn for the worse.
You picked war, baby, and I’m here to serve.
I throw my phone in my shorts pocket and drive to the place that started and ended it all.
As soon as I arrive at the cliff on the far end of the forest, I stand on the edge and stare below.
At the violent waves crashing against the harsh rocks, at how much the water has turned them sharp, steep—a natural wonder that’s able to steal lives.
And be the site of a fucked-up encounter.
Grandpa was right—as usual. The more I think about my friendship with Devlin, the more it doesn’t feel like a friendship.
He definitely didn’t feel happy for me like Cecily, Ava, Remi, and even Annika do when I tell them about something that’s made me happy.
Not to mention that he always loved to talk about himself, how he was an orphan, how he battled with depression his entire life, and how no one understood him.
I always listened to him because I thought we were kindred spirits and shared the same issues.
Our identities are misunderstood. Our depression is overlooked.
But now, I don’t know anymore.
I think his death hit me harder because I was right here when it happened. Right beside him in the car.
The wind flips my hair back as memories from that night hit me.
“Come with me, Glyn,” he said. “We can end the pain once and for all.”
“I…don’t know, Dev. I don’t really want that. I…can’t do that to my family.”
“Aren’t you the lucky one to have people who love you?”
“Dev, don’t say that. You have me.”
“And since when do you think you’re enough? You’re nothing more than a fucking coward, Glyn. You sing this tune of being misunderstood and say that your art is compared to your mother’s and brothers’, but ever thought it’s because you’re mediocre as fuck and shouldn’t even be painting in the first place? What type of artist is scared shitless of ending their life? How about you start practicing what you preach?”
Tears streamed down my cheeks and I couldn’t believe that I was staring at the same Devlin I’d known for months.