The silence in our bedroom soon turns suffocating, and I slide my fingers into her shiny blonde hair.
It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been with this woman, I still can’t get enough of touching her. I still think about all the years we lost and can’t get back.
I’m still trapped at that moment when I thought I’d lose her forever.
A small sigh leaves her lips and her stroking pauses. “Ash?”
“Hmm?”
“I think we made a mistake.”
“About?”
She continues burying her face in my chest. “Remember when Kill brought us those desiccated mice and told usLook, I can see inside them?”
My jaw clenches. “It was when we first figured out he’s likeher. Of course I remember.”
“He was only seven, Ash.”
“And he already showed the signs.”
“That’s not the point. Our son was so young, and we must’ve looked at him as if he were a monster.” She stares up at me with an unnatural shine in her deep blue eyes. “He told Glyndon that I’ve been scared of him since. Our baby boy thinks I’ve been afraid of him all this time, Ash. What are we going to do?”
“Hey.” I sit up and bring her with me and she sniffles, her tears soaking her cheeks and my thumb as I try to wipe them away. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” Her voice breaks. “It’s not okay for a seven-year-old to think his parents are scared of him. And it’s absolutely not okay that he’s carried that thought for over twelve years. That’s how trauma is caused.”
“He’s not susceptible to trauma. You’re feeling these terrible emotions, but he’s not able to process them, Reina. You shouldn’t project what you feel on him. He’s not the same.”
“But he’s our son and we might have let him down.”
“You’re overthinking this. Besides, he doesn’t care.”
“Of course he does. I know you want him not to, and you’ve been trying to prove that he’s only a monster with no redeeming qualities, but that’s not true, Ash. If he doesn’t care, would he make sure to answer my texts, call me regularly, and talk to me about his campus life? If he doesn’t care, would he bring his girlfriend to meet us?”
“It’s all a façade and a learned behavior. He’s one hundred percent socialized and has long since perfected fooling the world around him. You can refuse to see it all you want, but that doesn’t deny what he is.”
“What the hell iswhat he issupposed to mean? He’s ourson. Our flesh and blood. He’s not a guinea pig or a freak, stop analyzing him as if he is one.”
“Not when he’s prone to lose control any second.”
She pushes away from me, her delicate brows creasing with a frown, then starts to leave the bed.
I clutch her wrist. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Anywhere but beside you until you stop talking about our son like he’s a psychological case study.”
“Like fuck you’re leaving.” I tug her down and she gasps as she falls back in my embrace. “You can be mad at me while you talk to me.”
My wife puffs out a breath. “Please try to see him as more than your prejudice about his type. I was hurt, too, extremely, to the point of madness byher, but that doesn’t mean Kill is like her or that I’d take out my pain on him.”
I’m about to placate her, just to get her out of this mood, when a loud bang echoes from the room beside our master suite.
Reina jumps up, throwing her robe on, and I follow after wearing a T-shirt.
We both rush out and stop in the hallway when thebangcomes again.
My wife and I share a look. Gareth.