“Thank you,” I whisper.
“You should stay away from Kill. He’s bad news.”
“So everyone keeps telling me, but he’s the one who won’t leave me alone.”
His expression softens and he releases a long sigh. “Then my condolences.”
“Why?”
“Because he doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants, and what he wants isn’t often known.”
“He won’t be able to come near me now that he has someone else.” I throw my hands up in a vague gesture. “Like that Cherry.”
He’s going to fuck her, as he promised, and I’m never allowing him near me again.
Not even if I have to suffer for it.
Not even if I have to unleash Lan on him.
Actually, both Lan and Eli, and Creighton if I’m in the mood. I didn’t want to get them involved before, because I was genuinely scared to cause them trouble, but I’ll go against my nature and ask for their help this time.
Gareth unhooks the mask from around his neck and strokes the creepy neon smile. “I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. I’ve known Kill all my life and I still can’t figure out what the hell he’s thinking about most of the time.”
My interest perks up. “How…do you deal with him? If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”
A sad smile pulls his lips, resembling the shades of autumn. That’s what fits him—a mixture of warm, dying colors. “My way of dealing with him is nowhere near impressive. Are you sure you want to hear it?”
“Yes, please.”
“I just avoid being the subject of his entertainment.”
“Are you scared of him?”
“No, but I’m scared of his lack of empathy. I’m also scared he’ll end up hurting our parents in an irrevocable way, which is why I try to monitor him as much as possible—while staying out of his way.”
“You mean like a big brother.”
“No, like a lawyer.” He releases a sigh. “He’s a criminal in the making, and just because our parents refuse to see that doesn’t mean I don’t. Killian started by killing mice, then scaled up to hurting his classmates, then me. Then he got himself in mafia business just so he could witness the brutality firsthand. Not to mention these initiations that he keeps escalating in intensity with each season. At some point, all these stimulants won’t be enough for his mind and he’ll end up killing. It’s a matter of when, not if. And when that happens, he won’t be able to get enough of the taste of finishing a life. He’ll keep doing it again and again, just to experience that intoxicating thrill, until he’ll eventually get caught. So I’m just waiting for him to fall into that hole.”
I frown. “That’s not true.”
“What isn’t?”
“The fact that he’ll surely become a criminal. He has more control than anyone I know.”
“Or that’s what he wants everyone to think. Kill is not completely in control—he’s merely suppressing his true desires, and one day, they’ll rule him.”
No.
Gareth is only seeing him in a dark light, probably because of their history. There’s more to Killian than his violent intent.
And no, I’m not defending him. I’m just thinking of it as I would about Lan.
Though my brother is a bit different. Ithink. He loves our parents and us. Or maybe he fakes it so well that we’re blinded to it.
“You be careful out there.” Gareth points at the door.
And I take that as my cue to go.