“Sometimes,” she says, “I miss the days when the world was simple.”
“When was the world simple?”
She laughs wryly. “Well, simpler than it is now. I’m talking about the time before I knew what I was. The time when I thought it was enough to be a wolf, to serve my pack and to hunt Moon Casters and eventually try to have a child. That was all I was supposed to worry about in life. Now everything’s more complicated.”
“Yeah,” I say. “It does kind of feel like the threats are coming from all sides.”
“Do you think we should leave the city?”
“I’ve thought about it,” I admit. “But who’s to say things would be better anywhere else? At least here, we have some idea of what we’re up against. We know where the Ravagers have their hives. Imagine going to a new city and just not knowing where the Ravagers were at all!”
Emlyn nods. “That’s what I thought, too,” she said. “I just wanted someone else’s opinion.”
“I would go with you, you know,” I tell her. “If that’s the decision…what’s most important to me is that you and I stick together.”
“Always,” she tells me.
She gets to her feet, grabs my hand, and pulls me up to stand beside her, and catches me in a kiss.
Chapter 46
EMLYN
IwantsexbecauseI remember how it made me feel when I was first missing Victor. It took the edge off the pain.
And I’ve noticed that—while I can still feel my bond with Victor—it’s diluted, just like it was when Nate was here. Milo seems to have the same effect on it. It’s like my mate bond with Victor is a current in a river, but Nate, and now Milo, are rocks in that same current that catch me and allow me to cling to their surface, to avoid being washed away.
So what I’m hoping now is that being with Milo might distract me from the pull I still feel toward Nate.
And I do try sincerely. I trace my fingers over his lean, ropy muscles and do my best to forget the ways he’s different from Nate. I wrap my thighs around him, dig my heels into his ass, and for a moment, I’m able to forget the different shape of Nate’s body. I breathe in his unique pine scent, surround myself with everything that is Milo, and do my best to let the past fade away.
I can tell Milo is trying too. His forehead is pressed to mine—he’s staring directly into my eyes, and his eyes are as hypnotizing as always. It would be working if I didn’t keep blinking.
Our bodies move rhythmically, almost automatically, fucking without thought, and thatisa relief. The stress of knowing that everyone in this world is going to come for us just because of what we are is overwhelming. It feels good to lose ourselves in each other, to set aside that fear, even though I can’t forget the fact that Nate betrayed me.
At least right now, while I’m with Milo like this, I’m not afraid.
He gathers my wrists in one hand and pins them above my head. This is something I love about Milo—he’s so much taller than I am, and his limbs are so long. He’s able to hold my arms straight above my head, and I don’t have a hope of freeing myself. I just stare up at him, captive, mesmerized.
With his other hand, he reaches down and catches my leg behind the knee, pinning it up. He slows a bit, letting me adjust to the new angle. It’s just a little bit painful, but not unpleasant, and I realize that this is what I’ve needed. A sensation that’s physically overwhelming to the point that it doesn’t allow me to think about everything else I’m dealing with.
“Keep going,” I breathe.
“You’re okay?” he whispers.
“Yes. I want more.”
He nods and thrusts into me hard.
My head falls back on the ground. My arms tug against his hold of their own accord. My leg tightens. Everything is somuch.
Then he’s kissing along my collarbone, pausing to form his mouth to the shape of it for a moment before bending down to my breast. He sucks at my nipple hard. This hurts too, and I let out a high, keening cry, but at the same time, I’m arching up into him, letting him know with my body that I like it, that even though it hurts I want him to keep going.
He does.
It has never been more clear to me that Ibelongto another person, nor have I ever wanted that more than I do in this moment. He bites my nipple and it sends a jolt of pure pleasure through me. I hitch my hips up into him, fucking back as hard as I can now, chasing an orgasm that I can feel beginning to build.
Still, when it finally crashes down over me, it feels unexpected. I start to scream—the pleasure is so intense that it’s almost violent—and Milo’s hand presses over my mouth, silencing me. I sink my teeth into his palm as he fucks me hard now, his thrusts so rough that I’m actually sliding backward in the dirt. I stare up at him, awed by his strength.