The phone rings, I answer, and my heart stops when it’s someone from HR. I don’t make out her name, just those two dreaded letters.
She says, “Oops, I think I read the wrong line on the phone list. Mister Adams asked me to call him directly. Are you his admin?”
“I am. I can put you through.” What did I tell myself about him getting ahead of a potential disaster? Whatever tiny thread of my heart hadn’t completely severed, has now snapped. Apparently, heisthat kind of guy.
Be strong. Get ahead of things. No time like the present to start. I blurt out, “Before I do, I’d like to put in my resignation.”
I’m met with silence.
“I’m supposed to notify HR, right?”
“Yes, but Mister Adams didn’t say anything about you leaving too.”
Too? He’s leaving? Is he that worried I’ll tell someone about our secret? I’m devastated. Tears threaten to spill. I let her know that I’ll put her through to Lincoln, and as soon as I notify him through the intercom, I rush to the bathroom.
Lincoln
I spend the morning alone in my office, struggling with my decision. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We have some fun, we walk away with our secret, but the more I disconnect from Natalie, the worse I feel.
Knowing that she’s five feet away from my office door, believing that I want anything other than to shout how much I love her is killing me. There’s no way all she got out of thelessonswas the physical act of sex.
I’d heard Jefferson’s intimate words,I love you, Baby Doll. We can be a happy family.
Followed by her sincere reply,I want that.
It hurt that I wasn't included, but I can’t let that be the reason I let her go. She’s everything to me.
But words aren’t enough, that’s why I call HR and leave a message that I want to talk about my options for leaving. I note that they should call me back directly. If Natalie fields a call from them, she’ll have every right to fear the worst.
As soon as I make a decision and implement it so that she’ll believe I’m serious, I’ll tell her.
I pace around my office, considering the corner windows, the heavy wood bookcases, and the overall luxury I’ve worked years to attain. If I quit, how many years will I have to put in at a new financial institution to gain it all back?
Raking my hands through my hair, I question the other option, and my sanity, to give it all up and take the job my brother offered. Having him as a boss stirs up the sibling rivalry, the constant comparisons, and never getting to be myself.
It was bad enough that we were always so equal and confusable. That had seemed like the worst. If I take the job, I’ll be inferior, his employee.
But we could have Natalie.
With her in my life, I think I can handle the rest. And as much as Jefferson annoys me, there’s comfort in knowing that if I ever can’t be there for Natalie, he would be. She’d be cared for by the person I trust most in the world.
It’s time to get over my ego.
Her voice comes through the intercom on my phone. “You have a call from Human Resources on line one…but you don’t have to quit, Mister Adams, I will.”
I’m objecting to her statement when I realize she’s already put the call through. So much for HR respecting my privacy.
As tempting as it is to let Natalie quit since I’ll lose my mind knowing she’s working for anyone else, I’m the one with the standing job offer.
Reminding the HR rep about privacy, I tell her I’ll have to call her back. Rushing out of my office, my heart sinks when Natalie’s not at her desk.
Jefferson comes charging around the corner. “Lincoln, we have to talk.”
“Do you know where Natalie is?” I ask.
“I assumed she was here with you.”
We need a game plan. Ushering him into my office, I have to find out if he’s as serious about her as I am. If he feels like a ship lost at sea without her? I’m not a boat guy, but the thought of drifting on the vast ocean with the horizon unobstructed on any side feels as hopeless.