He banged his head against the steering wheel. He hated the excuses. Esther didn’t want him. It was plain and simple, and he’d better get used to it.
What had happened to the warm, fun, beautiful, smart woman he’d taken on three incredible dates? Well, she was still fun, beautiful, and smart, but definitely not warm. Not when she told him it was all fake for her.
She’d willingly kissed him tonight before Gavin Strong had interrupted. Had she just let her guard down, then remembered she didn’t want him later?
Thor had warned him. Three dates and done. Was that how she’d dumped the other men? How many? Hundreds? He could only imagine how many men pursued Esther and she kindly said yes, called themsweetieandhoneyand was adorable and warm … until date number three was over.
Was his dream woman really a cold heartbreaker?
It was a long, long time until he lifted his head and put the truck in gear. He needed to focus on Garret Thomson and what was happening there. Garret showing up at the restaurant still bugged him. What if the guy was still tracking her and he was bad news?
Reed had to focus and keep her safe, but all he could think about was Esther ditching him. Nothing had ripped him apart this bad since his dad had died.
ChapterTen
Esther’s entire body shook from the emotion of lying to the love of her life. Somehow, she made it in through the front door and up the steps. Thor called to her from the main area, but she dashed to her bedroom without responding. She couldn’t.
Once her bedroom door was safely closed behind her, she allowed the tears to come. She wanted to fall onto the bed and cry herself to sleep, but something pulled her to the window. Reed’s truck sat there. Why didn’t he drive away?
What if he came after her?
A thrill raced through her, but she quickly shoved it away. How long could she keep lying to him? She should receive some sort of actress award for pulling it off tonight like she had. She’d kept a straight face and hopefully had kept the longing for him out of her eyes as she’d said it was all fake for her.
She should be worried about the whole weird deal with Garret Thomson or what she needed to do for the Delta secret if Garret was somehow a threat, but all she could manage to do was let the tears silently trail down her face and pray Reed wouldn’t hate her. That he would know it wasn’t him; it really was her. He was incredible. He was everything she’d ever want. But she couldn’t do it. If she’d been obsessed with Roman, she would be fanatically psychotic about Reed. With Garret possibly being a killer, it hit her that she’d brought that to Reed’s doorstep. If something happened to Reed because of her, she wouldn’t survive.
Should she have told him the real truth? That she was crazy? Psychotic? He’d said those words a few times around her. He’d definitely stay away if she admitted what was really happening in her head, but she selfishly didn’t want him or anyone else to know.
A soft rap came at the door. She couldn’t respond. She prayed it was Reed and then she prayed it wasn’t. Why couldn’t she give him a chance, see if the way he’d calmed her down at the waterfall, tenderly putting her socks on and being so steady and awesome when she’d grabbed his shirt and demanded he not ask any questions, or the way he’d calmed her down after the steam room and acted like it was no big deal, were reminiscent of how he could be there for her if her OCD reared its ugly head.
But what if he called her crazy or psychotic? She’d really fall apart.
What if Garret came after Reed because Esther had selfishly gone out with him? Garret may seem like a wimp compared to Reed, but if Josh’s story proved true, he was an unstable murderer.
The door cracked open. “Sis?”
Thor. That was good.
She swallowed hard and turned from staring at Reed’s truck, which still hadn’t moved, and hoped Thor couldn’t see her tears in the dark room. “Hey, bro. Did you hear about Garret? Psychotic, right?” She winced at using that word.
“For sure.” Thor pushed the door wider. He walked to her side and looked at her and then down at Reed’s truck. Still not moving. “Is that why you’re crying and why Reed isn’t pulling away?”
Esther swallowed hard again, but she couldn’t clear the tightness or emotion from her throat. “I guess. I’m exhausted and overwrought. What a day. Is Shell here?”
“I took her home a couple hours ago, but I waited up for you.”
“Ah, such a good brother.” Her voice trembled with emotion.
“Esther …” He looked her over and to her horror, more tears leaked out. “You are not okay. Is this about Garret or about Reed?”
At the sound of Reed’s name, she cried harder.
Thor wrapped an arm around her and drew her in tight. “Ah, sis. What happened?”
She couldn’t stop the torrent of tears from releasing. She couldn’t explain. Thor wouldn’t understand. Maybe Papa, Dad, or Mom would understand, but sometimes she didn’t think they truly got it either. How could anybody who hadn’t been where she’d been truly comprehend why she had to keep her distance from romantic relationships and love?
Her rule had failed her this time. It was too late.
She already loved Reed.