Frustration filled her blue eyes. “Can’t. I can’t kiss you, date you, be with you. I should’ve grabbed Cameron and kissed him yesterday.”
His gut churned. “Cameron?” If Cameron or any man dared touch her, Reed would dismantle them.
“You’re too much of a risk, Reed.”
How was he a risk? He was about as solid and grounded as anyone he knew. He’d given up law school to help his mom raise his brothers. He was loyal to God, his family, his valley, and his country. He would never hurt her or betray her.
“I’m too damaged,” she continued.
Damaged? She wasn’t damaged. She was incredible and perfect to him, perfect for him. Something must’ve happened in her past. He wished she’d confide in him. He wanted to help her and protect her.
The water fell in uneven sheets around them as they stared at each other and Reed tried to think how to convince her that she was amazing, that he would be there for her no matter what damage she thought she had, and that they were meant to be together. There was no risk. He’d eliminate any risk. He’d do anything to be with her.
“I can’t,” she said again. “I can’t risk going back to …” She broke off and yanked away from him. She plunged straight through the waterfall, slipped, and fell to her knees in the creek.
Reed hurried after her, getting drenched and trying to reach for her. She dodged him and scrambled to her feet, across the rocks and back to where they’d left their stuff. Reed followed her. He felt helpless and out of place. What to say? Where to start? How to show her he would love and protect and cherish her if she’d just give him the chance?
She plopped down on the blanket and started tugging socks on her wet feet. It looked like a battle. Reed knelt next to her and put his hands over hers. She stilled, but as she glanced up at him, he could see the desperation in her gaze. What had happened to her to make her so afraid of falling in love?
He said a quick prayer and hoped he could reach her emotionally and not push her in the wrong direction. Tugging her sock back off, he took the blanket and rubbed her foot dry and then he slid the sock on.
She stared at him. Her gaze settled a bit, but she said nothing.
Reed dried her other foot and put her left sock on.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
Reed nodded, still kneeling next to her. “Esther, can we talk about this?”
“No,” she said, her voice cracking. “I can’t go back there.”
“Back where?”
Please let her open up.
She shook her head and looked away. Grabbing her shoe, she shoved it on. Reed recognized as soon as she had those shoes on she was going to run, and fast. He hurried to wipe his own feet with the blanket and tug his socks on, but her shoes were tied and she was on her feet before he got his second sock in place.
“Esther, wait,” he begged. He couldn’t think of the last time he’d begged anyone for anything. Besides begging heaven not to take his dad.
She shook her head. “You’ll try to make me talk.”
Reed gritted his teeth as he shoved his first shoe on. “I … I won’t.”
“You promise?”
In his desperation to not have her run off down the trail, he agreed too quickly, “I promise.”
Esther squatted down next to him and grabbed fistfuls of his wet T-shirt. Her blue eyes were as intense as he’d ever seen them. “You promise you won’t pin me down and make me talk about my past and dredge up all the pain and try to work through it and all that garbage. You promise?” Her voice rose to a frenzied pitch and her eyes looked wild.
Reed’s stomach was so unsettled he could hardly keep his lunch down. Had someone taken advantage of her? Why else would she be so intense and scared? He’d helped some victims after they were assaulted. It had been awful to see the pain in their eyes.
The only hope he had that she hadn’t been taken advantage of was how well trained she was by Papa Delta and the military. Yet maybe that was why she’d gone into the military and taken her training to the next level.
“I won’t make you talk about your past,” he said softly, hating that he was promising this. He was an alpha male and a law enforcement officer. Those combinations made him a “fixer.” He wanted to go in, solve the problem, and make everything right. His mom had called him out on it before. She’d told him sometimes a woman just needed a hug and someone to listen, not fix everything. He had to be patient with Esther and not try to solve her problems for her.
“But if you ever want to share with me,” he had to offer, “I’ll be here to listen.”
Esther studied him.