Chapter One
Raven
I lean against the wall, sighing softly as the brick cools my bare back. I’m not usually this free with my body, but after countless conversations with my cousin Addie, I’m convinced that I’ve made a mockery of my college experience. I didn’t go out drinking, I didn’t club, and I didn’t date a single soul. In fact, most every day of the last four years I spent locked away in my dorm room studying and drawing. My hours with a pad of paper and pencil made up my life. It didn’t much bother me until I really got to thinking about how this was the last chance I had to be wild. After graduation, my get of jail free card expires. No one feels sorry for a college graduate who’s making mistakes. That excuse is only good for those still enrolled. So then, here you have it. My attempt at wild and crazy… posing naked for the students in my art class. It doesn’t have the same spice that a sorority party would have, but it’s too late for that. Now, I work with what I’ve got.
A woman peeks from behind her canvas to study me. I think she’s staring at the sheet, to be honest, examining how my hand grips the fabric and holds it loosely at my chest. Okay, so I’m not fully nude. I’m working up to it.
I try to relax my muscles, but there’s an endless worry in my head that won’t subside.
What if he comes back? What if he sees me exposed like this? When he left the room, I was still a fully clothed shy girl sitting in the back of the classroom like I have been all semester.Now, apparently, I’m some exhibitionist who’s wild and free.
My eyes trail from the door and back to center at least a thousand times in a series of two minutes. The professor instructed us to choose a muse and work on our final project. I volunteeredafterhe left the room. I could never do something like this with him here. He makes me nervous. The way he looks, the way he talks, the air of confidence and sexuality that swings around him like a pendulum, it’s all so overwhelming. If I had to describe him to someone, I would go with something more along the lines of intoxicating. He’s like a drug. A drug I’ve taken a shot of every day now for months.
“Most are using graphite,” a smooth, deep voice says from behind me. “Though I did see a few with oil.”
My hair stands on end and my heart thumps against my chest like a hammer. It’s him. Tall, dark, and handsome beyond any realm of reality, with a wide stance and the burly appearance of a man from the woods. He doesn’t belong in this space, in a plain white button down. He’s too big, too wide, his arms too tattooed, his beard too wild. He’s an animal. An educated, well dressed,wildanimal.
“Graphite,” I nod, clearing my throat. “Yeah.”
Oh my God. I’m such an idiot. If I could be cool for just one second, I would really appreciate it.I grip the sheet tighter at my chest and let out a weird cascading laugh that draws attention to me as students spy from behind their canvas to see what all the racket is about.
“Capture the essence of the subject,” Professor Hill says. “Her shy laugh, and the way her dark hair falls over her shoulder. Memorize her.” He looks toward me. “Drink her in.”
My heart pounds nearly as quickly as my clit, as he stares back at me in the light of the mid-afternoon sun that streams through the skylight above.
Who am I? Who is this girl? And why is she naked?
I suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I try not to notice the scent of spice and soap that’s on him, but I can’t help myself. I want to know what he smells like; it will help me later when I’m fantasizing him to life around midnight.
God. I’m fucked in the head.This isn’t normal. All this time here and the one man that I find interest in is my professor? Maybe I should have a visit with the school psychologist. I’m sure she could talk some sense into me. Then again, maybe they’d have me kicked out for even thinking such things about my teacher.
My throat tightens as his gaze stays fixed on me. “You should get dressed now, Raven. Class is just about over.”
I hold my breath as he says the words. Part of me wishes he’d dismiss the rest of the class, lay me out here, and have his way with me. Or at the very least, tell me I’m too beautiful to take his eyes off. Then again, the attention from him would only dizzy me further and I’m not sure I need that kind of distraction so close to graduating.
Nodding, I stand from the stool and hold the sheet tight, making sure it’s covering me fully before making my way to the storage room to change.
When the door closes, I hear Bethany’s voice rise two pitches higher than normal as she talks. She’s in her junior year, and she’s the one that should’ve been posing. She’s tall, thin, and everything about her is perfectly symmetrical. Art wise, she’s perfection. Her boobs are small and perky, her waist is tapered and tight, and her face looks like one of those faces that belongs on a magazine cover somewhere.
I shake my head and I flick on the light as reality sets in. I’m panting over this grown man who barely knows I exist. Not to mention the fact that he seemed less than amused by my nudity. At this rate, I’m not sure I’d want him to be. I mean, it would be nice if he was, but he’s not, and that’s perfectly appropriate.
Shifting my weight, I slide back into the sundress I wore to class, then tuck into my cardigan. It’s a warm reminder of the reality I should be living in. The one where I’m completely covered andnoton display for the rest of the class. The one where I don’t take unnecessary risks and do crazy things just to prove I’m not boring.
My hand grips the door handle, but I hold it in place, hoping the bell will ring before I come out of the room. I’m not sure what kind of dream state I went into in order to get naked and pose for the class, but that’s clearly dissipated now and it’s just me. Me and all my anxiety, hoping to avoid all the eyes that were just staring before I sneak out of the room.
Thankfully, the bell rings before my head gets too far into some alternate reality of what happened and I crack the door open slowly and sneak sideways out of the room, keeping my head down so that no one will notice me. But a shrieking voice does, and my toes curl.
“Raven,” Bethany says, shuffling up to me on her way to the door. “You’re so brave to do what you did today.” At first, I think she’s complimenting me, then I realize she’s mocking. “I mean, I’m not brave enough, and I’m fit as a fiddle. I have to take lessons from you on how to be more confident.”
My stomach tightens and my blood boils, mostly out of anger, but I think a little embarrassment is in there too.
“Have a nice day, Bethany,” a deep voice says from behind me.
Bethany smiles wide and does this little hair flip blinking thing that makes my stomach turn. She’s flirting with him, like she always does. If he was into anyone, it would be her.God, can I please disappear? How about right now and forever?
“Raven,” Professor Hill says, “can we talk for a second?”
Technically, we could talk for the rest of the day. I’m free as of three minutes ago.