“Yeah. But you said that about Trudy.”
My smile fades and I sigh, moving away from him and out the door. “That was a mistake but I swear this is real. That was just my damn mind playing tricks on me. I just needed it so bad that I kinda convinced myself it was real.”
He eyes me, the sympathy in his eyes real. He knows what I went through with my family. The fighting. The nights where no one was home when I got home from school. The nights I called and he begged for me to spend the night so I wouldn’t be all alone.
The nights that we talked long into the night about a future where we could make our own choices. Our future wouldn’t be mapped out for us, we’d have a say in it.
In his own way, he struggled with the same issues. He had loving parents. They wanted to be there for everything. But his dad knew that he had something special and he pushed him so hard to be the best. To conquer. To get that fucking brass ring that eludes most players. The NFL. The Super Bowl. All those things.
And now he’s getting close to retirement and I know he feels rudderless. Like he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with the rest of his life.
I thought the same thing when I got hit in my senior year of college. The hit that tore my ACL and damaged my leg so bad that I couldn’t’ go back out on the field without the threat of damaging it so bad with the next hit that it might be the one that made it impossible to function without a cane. To this day I walk with a limp, a slight hesitation.
But I worked my ass off to get even that level of mobility back. I don’t need sympathy from people about my busted-up body and career. I took that and turned it around into a damn good living as a defense attorney. I like to protect the underdog. Because they remind me of my own damn start probably.
I didn’t see any of that in her eyes though. She doesn’t feel sorry for me. She wants me. And she doesn’t understand it because she also feels that pull to Kade.
We’re two halves of a whole. Two men with a past that’s entwined to such an extent that we’ll never function away from each other.
Now all we have to do is invite her in and seduce her so well that she doesn’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late.
She’s never going to be anything but ours. Forever.
Chapter4
Alexandra
My heart feels like it’s in a vise when I get the call. I can’t breathe, sucking in air like it’s being pulled through a straw with holes punched all the way around it.
Tears well in my eyes and I have to push it all down. Have to try and project that cool, cynical persona that everyone expects from me.
The detective standing in front of me sighs. “I’m really sorry to have to tell you this. I really am. And I hate to have to bother you, but I could really use those records and files. It could bolster our case.”
I nod my head, shocked to the core. I can’t even think through the fog that won’t lift. The fog that’s covering the pain and anger that I know is coming.
“I’m sorry but you know client confidentiality is a big deal.”
“I can get a court order. I just thought I’d ask you first.”
“If you can get a court order, I’d prefer to go that route. I don’t want my patients thinking that all the police have to do is ask and I’ll turn all their information over without a fight. That could ruin me.”
He sighs and tucks his notebook away, handing me a folded piece of paper that I unfold and read stiffly. “I had a feeling you’d say that so I already got it.”
I nod my head. “I’ll have Grey pull her files and then I’ll send you the copies of my online notes.”
“That would be amazing. Thank you.” He turns to go but hesitates, looking over his shoulder, his blue eyes sympathetic. I feel my stomach churn. “Don’t blame yourself for what happened. I’m sure you tried to get her to leave. I’m sure a lot of people did.”
I was the only one she had left. Her parents wrote her off and haven’t contacted her in years. Since he started moving her away from them and all her friends. Until all she had was him and lately me. A friend of mine saw her at a shelter and referred her to me. I did pro bono work sometimes and as soon as I saw her face with the healing split lip and the lost look in her brown eyes, I knew she needed me.
As soon as the detective leaves, I stand before Grey and say, “Get her files together and send them over to this man at the police department.” I hand him his card and he studies it with sad eyes which lift to mine and I gird myself for it. Knowing it’s coming. But I feel like I’m so close to breaking. So close to just losing it completely.
I shake my head at him. “Can you cancel my appointments for today?”
“Of course,” he clears his throat roughly. “I’m really sorry, doc,” he whispers.
“So am I.” I turn quickly and close the door behind myself. Only to lean against the door with a shuddering sob. And then I sink to the ground, my arms wrapped around my shuddering body, sobs tearing out of me like a storm.
It feels like hours later when I lift my head from the carpet, pushing the pieces of red hair that have fallen out of my french twist out of my face. I stand shakily and tug at my clothes, huffing out a tortured breath.