“What?” I gasp.Is he high?
“True story, love. They’re prepared to buy you out of your rental contract and put you up in one of our station-owned condos temporarily. They’ll pay for your entire moving costs, as well as offer a sign-on bonus to be here Monday morning.”
“Hold on,” I tell him as I grab my laptop. I boot it up and retrieve my email. There’s one from Thursday, addressed to me from the man who offered me the job weeks ago. I pull it up and start to read.
Wow.
That’stheir offer?
No wonder everyone jumps ship from our small station to climb the ladder at the larger stations. Not only is the salary about seventy-percent greater than the one I have now—and I’ve always thought it to be a great wage—the bonus is enough to get me out of the shoebox I’m living in and into a decent-sized apartment with neighbors who don’t sell questionable products out their back door.
“Are you there?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, scanning the email once more.
“So, as you can see, it’s a logical move up for you, Cricket. You can drive here today, get settled in your new place, and be ready to start Monday morning,” he says, as if it were the most reasonable explanation ever.
My heart starts to gallop and I’m having a hard time thinking, let alone sucking sweet oxygen into my lungs. I get up and start to pace, taking my small bag from the counter and emptying the contents. Danny continues to talk about the station, as well as how successful he is, but my mind is reeling.
I glance down and look at the object in my hand. It’s the coffee mug I bought at that little souvenir stand in Gatlinburg. The match to the one Rueben has. Tears well in my eyes for like the four thousandth time since I’ve returned to California. The familiar ache is there, front and center, and holding the mug in my hand is just another reminder of what’s back in Gatlinburg.
I catch pieces of his pitch, and he doesn’t seem to realize the conversation is completely one-sided. He wants me to move to Los Angeles and work with him.
“No,” I interrupt, with a little too much force.
“No?” he sputters
“You heard me, Danny. No. I don’t want to move to LA. I don’t want to be your co-host. I don’t want to switch jobs. I don’t even know if I wantmyjob.”
He’s quiet for a few seconds before he asks the burning question, “What is it you want, Cricket?”
Funny he should ask that, because it’s the one answer I can give easily. The one thing I know as certain as my own name. “Rueben.”
Danny sighs, and at first, doesn’t say anything. “Talk to me, Cricket,” he finally whispers as another wave of warm tears fall from my eyes.
“I think I love him.”
Danny chuckles. “Youthinkyou love him?” I don’t reply. “Listen, Cricket, things that happened back then, I know I messed them up. I was just…young and stupid. I knew we weren’t going to last long term, and I was too chickenshit to just say it. Instead, I led you on and mapped out the move with you. I fucked that all up.”
“You got that right,” I mumble, snuffling and reaching for a tissue.
“But it’s not because I didn’t love you. I did. We just wanted different things in life. I think you could see it too,” he says.
Sighing, I know he’s right. Deep down, I knew Danny wasn’t the right one for me, but I was angry at him for blindsiding me with the graduation day breakup. “I think you’re right.”
“Oh, I know I’m right. I’m always right, baby. I’m Danny Ohara,” he replies, and I swear I hear him pound his chest through the phone line.
I snort. “Please. I couldn’t give two shits about Danny Ohara.”
“Maybe that’s true, and I’d totally deserve it. But do you know what, Cricket Hill? I still give two shits about you. That’s why I’m going to ask you this: Why are you in California?”
“What?” I ask, standing up and starting to pace.
“Why are you in California? That wasn’t your dream. It was mine, and you know it. I know you got that job at the station, which was right up your alley. I heard you were awesome and promoted up to a production director within a few years. Then what happened?”
“You screwed one of our morning show hosts and she left to join you.”
“And then you were put in her place, right?” He doesn’t wait for me to reply. “So why did you stay? Why keep doing it if it wasn’t what you wanted? Security?”