I check on my customers and refill their cups before I return to the counter and sit on the barstool, taking out the binder of paperwork that my grandpa is still behind on. It’s a lot better than the mess I started with when I arrived here, so that’s a good thing. I’ve been working diligently on it every single day to get it down. I’ve at least put a dent in it, and a dent is a damn good start. It took me almost four months to make a dent.
After a few minutes of nothing more than simply staring at words that don’t make any sense, my phone dings, capturing my attention. I pick up my phone and swipe my finger across the screen to look at the text.
Jersey:Grandpa has been telling mom and dad about how well you’re doing. They’re thinking of asking you to come home.
I can only stare at the text from my sister, feeling my eyes go wide in shock. I didn’t even know they were discussing having me come home. I don’t know how to respond, though. Because I don’t even know if I want to go home. Going home would mean accepting the way my parents live and following their rules. I won’t get to be with Gracie or even have a chance with Devon. My parents will want me to settle down with a pretty girl they deem appropriate to pop out babies with. I’ll be made to go into the family business, nothing of which I even want to do. I want to be a chef. That’s what I want. They laughed at the one time I told them, saying it was a ludicrous idea that would never let me survive in this world.
I don’t want to go home, no matter how much I miss my siblings. I want to be happy; I deserve to be happy.
I choose not to respond to my sister’s text. I have more pressing matters to worry about now, after all.
Chapter53
Luke
“This is what you want to do, isn’t it?” Jasper asks, leaning on the back of the couch and eyeing the men around us.
They all nod. Devon and Colton are more willing, open about this whole thing, and are a bit more enthusiastic about it. Owen, on the other hand, is withdrawn. The hesitance is written all over his boyish face, unsure about it. But he’s here, which says it all. It shows he wants to be with Gracie. This will be a huge step for him, and it will take a lot of baby ones for him to get to step Z.
“Number one rule,” I start, bringing their attention to me, “is communication. No relationship survives without it. You all must be in tune with one another. Talk things through, and make sure everyone knows what’s going on. Your feelings matter, even if they seem small. They all matter. Just like in a monogamous relationship.” I look between the trio more seriously than before. “I’m not kidding. Jasper and I are used to three of us at a time. Now and again, a fourth for some fun, but communication between all of us has always been important. It’s vital in a relationship, especially as it gets bigger.”
Owen rubs his forehead, shifting at the far end of the couch. He’s been extremely disgruntled by this whole thing since we got here. I get how turned off by this idea he is. I also know that his love for Gracie is making it too hard to just walk away at the same time.
So, I address that situation next because it’s vital that everybody is on the same page and not expecting one thing when something else needs to happen.
“You have to be transparent about your feelings and concerns. If you aren’t, nothing gets solved, and problems will rise. You need to figure out your feelings for one another, what you want out of the relationship, and lay down rules.”
“Rules?” This piques Colton’s interest. “What kind of rules?”
“Like exclusivity or being open. If you’re exclusive to those in the relationship, you stay exclusive to them. You don’t invite strangers in or anyone else without talking to the others. You don’t go shopping around. The rules are just like a monogamous relationship, except now you’ve got a few more feelings to consider. A few more people who rely on you to not cheat. Because if you’re exclusive to your people, being with someone outside the group is cheating. If you’re open, that’s just a different set of rules that will need to be followed,” Jasper explains with a shrug of his shoulder, sadness glittering in his eyes.
I know who he’s thinking about. Finding out what Adrianna was part of stung us in ways we have yet to discuss. I don’t know if either of us is even ready to bring it up. We haven’t talked to each other about it. The topic has just been completely avoided. Adrianna has been a big part of our lives for almost six years. It isn’t going to be easy just letting her go, but we can’t keep standing by and letting her pull the bullshit she’s been up to lately.
First, cheating on us. Second, planting drugs? For fuck’s sake, what was she even thinking? How could she even be okay with doing that? Is it just because she likes my sister and was willing to do it for her? I know the two of them are good friends, but I doubt Adrianna is that gullible. Something else happened, and I need to know what. But I’m not ready to talk to her just yet. I don’t know when, but I’ll get my answers when I am ready.
“How long have you guys been doing this?” Colton suddenly asks, drawing my attention back to this moment in time. “The whole…more than monogamous and all.”
“Well, we’ve been with Adrianna for six years. But we had a mutual friend interested in both of us for about four years before that. He’s how we met.”
“He?” Owen cocks an eyebrow and sits forward. “So, you were with all guys before the model chick?”
“Her name is Adrianna,” Jasper says defensively. “But yes. We were each with girls before then, though. We were just introduced to this lifestyle through him.”
I grimace, biting the inside of my cheek. Jace is a sore subject with me. He was the first guy I actually fell in love with, and he fucked me over. I really don’t like thinking about him. Almost seven years, and the pain is still raw. The saying isn’t true; time doesn’t heal all wounds. Maybe one day, I will forgive him for the shit he pulled, but until then, I will always hold him accountable.
“Right,” the cop says slowly, eyeing me suspiciously. “And you two had nothing to do with the whole drug shit?”
There it is. The pressing subject that’s had Owen riled up all day long. I’m not surprised. With how angry he was earlier and how quick he was to blame me, I know he just wants somebody to point the finger at. He can’t ask questions to the girl who did it, and besides, we’re supposed to be with Adrianna. Therefore, it’s even easier to blame us by association.
“We didn’t have anything to do with that, all right?” Jasper states bitterly with a roll of his eyes. “We like Gracie. We wouldn’t do that to her.”
The room goes silent. The three on the couch only stare at us. Colton is the youngest, and he looks it too. His features haven’t sharpened like the other two, but his eyes hold a different story. They glitter in hope and desire but with sadness mixed in. He’s obviously gone through some shit in life that he won’t talk about. I want to pry it out of him, to get him to open. But I know better than to do that, especially with just having met one another.
Devon sits in the middle, keeping Colton and Owen apart. I don’t think Owen knows Colton very well and is also suspicious of him, which is why they’re kept separate. I can’t blame Devon for keeping the peace. He’s always calm and trying to deflect any conflict from starting. He doesn’t like confrontation, but I suspect he will do it if absolutely necessary.
Then there’s Owen. He’s so full of anger and confusion. As far as I've seen, his face is always twisted in a scowl. Every time I’ve seen him, which hasn’t been very often, he’s just been angry. I want to see him smile, but I think there’s a lot of shit built up inside of him that keeps him at arm’s length from everybody. Getting him to open is going to be complete hell.
“All five of us?” Devon suddenly asks. “All five of us guys with Gracie? How is that going to work? Like with sex and sleeping and…” his voice trails off, and he looks at Owen, who stares blankly back at us. “How do we make this work? Share her?”