Chapter49
Gracie
Iroll over in the bed and stretch, feeling the silk of the sheets beneath me. It’s so comfortable that I don’t want to ever get up again. It kisses my bare skin, and I remember tearing the clothes off my body before getting into bed. Neither of the guys was around, and the door stayed closed all night, proven when I look at it. I don’t normally sleep naked, but I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity of sleeping on the silky sheets. For all I know, it could possibly be my first and last time doing so.
Once these guys find out about, well, everything, I’m doomed. Luke knows gritty details but doesn’t know the extent of things. He doesn’t know what lies beneath the surface, and I don’t want him to know. I don’t want him to find out just how fucked up I am.
Jobless, pretty sure I’m on the verge of being homeless at this rate with the way I walked out, and untrustworthy. He knows a few details because of what I share, and that is all. For all he knows, I’m put together outside of AA meetings. The other night, I acted fine. But I’m a mess inside, and I can feel it boiling. It wants to explode. I’ll lose everything if I let it, though.
I stretch out like an angel in the bed and close my eyes, pretending for a couple of minutes that I’m doing just fine. If I lay still long enough, with no one bothering me, I can even pretend that I’m home and in a place I feel comfortable being myself. I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve felt good enough in a place of my own or anywhere where I cannot be pressured to watch myself. Living with Devon and Owen for the better part of a year has made me realize just how careful I am. I don’t want to do things to anger them or slip and say the wrong thing that’ll piss them off. Mainly because of their girlfriends. Commenting about them has never exactly been the smartest idea. Then there’s the history between them and me and the fact that they’re best buds or whatever they call themselves. That doesn’t help matters.
I have to admit, though, that I need them. I’ve always needed them. Maybe I do have Devon back, but I need Owen too. I hate to admit it, to know that I just can’t feel whole without the both of them in my life. It’s frustrating because all I want is to stop feeling like I’m spiraling out of control all over again, and this time, it isn’t even from addiction.
For fuck’s sake. I just want to get stable enough to set some foundation in life. Like my sisters and brother. Their lives are all in order, and here I am, just fucking winging this shit. I don’t want to ask what they did because then I’ll just have to admit how lame I really am. I want my parents to be proud of me and my accomplishments, but how the hell do I do that when I’m just drifting?
I sit up and look around the room warily for my clothes. They’re bunched up on the trunk at the end of the bed. I don’t remember putting them there. I swear I just tossed them on the floor, but whatever. Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t, and one of the guys did come in and pick them up after I had passed out. That’s definitely a possibility, but I decide not to dwell on it so much and get up to make my way towards it. If I think about it too long, I will make myself paranoid.
The floor is carpeted, so it’s not cold, and I really like that. The worst part of the apartment is that the floors are all wood, which makes it impossible to want to get out of bed. I hate stepping on the wooden floor first thing. It’s freezing.
Pulling my clothes on, I rummage on the bed for my phone, and when I finally locate it, I make my way out of the room. I know my hair is a mess, but I hadn’t exactly planned on spending the night here. I don’t have a hairbrush, and I don’t dare ask Adrianna for one. I have the nagging feeling that she just doesn’t like me. I get that I’m hanging out with her boyfriends, but honestly - that’s their fault. Not fucking mine. Plus, I feel like there’s deeper reasoning she hates me. Just exactly what, I don’t know.
I locate the bathroom a few doors down and use the toilet to relieve myself of morning piss. Done, I finally decide to find the kitchen and join them for breakfast. Just because I was here one night before doesn’t mean I know where all the main rooms are. I don’t even know where the front door is, for fuck’s sake. These guys can officially kidnap me, with me having come here willingly, and all they need to do is let me wander around. I don’t think I’d ever find my way out of this place even if I wanted to - which I don’t right now.
As suspected, I don’t find the kitchen. I turn right, left, two rights, another left, and I’m pretty sure I’ve turned myself around as another bathroom that looks exactly the same as the one I used pops up continually.
“Gracie,” Luke’s voice turns me around to face him.
He’s looking at me with shadowed eyes, his hands trembling. He looks… angry?
“The cops are here,” he tells me and beckons for me to follow him.
I stare at his back as he turns away, unmoving. Police? He means my dad and Owen, right? No. I don’t think he even knows that they’re cops. It could be them, come in their uniforms to try and talk me back home. The hallway is wood and cold on my bare feet. It stings a little and pushes me forward. I follow him begrudgingly, also knowing that Luke knows this house a hell of a lot better than I do.
As we turn a few corners, we get to the front of the house. Jasper steps to the side and lets me see the cops. In their uniforms, they face me with grim faces. Two of them stand there, but neither is my father or Owen. My heart picks up speed, and my hands go clammy at the sight of them. Has something bad happened to my father? I doubt they’d come to me personally if it was Owen. But… wouldn’t they go to my mom if something happened to my father? She’d call me if that was the case.
“Hello,” I greet, something holding me back from approaching them.
“Hello, Gracie. We recognize you from the photos,” the one on the right smiles.
I flinch. Of course, they would. My father has pictures all over his desk. I’ve only seen it a handful of times, but I know he does. I don’t say anything.
“We have been alerted to possession on your person,” the one on the left finally tells me, stepping up to bat.
“Possession?” I ask, my voice sounding hollow even to my own ears. “I don’t understand.”
“Did you bring drugs into my house?” Luke snaps, the anger in his words startling me. “I swear if you fucking brought drugs in this—”
“I didn’t!” I cut him off, my eyes widening in shock as I glance between the uniformed men and the two who aren’t. “I swear. I don’t have anything.”
“Can you empty your pockets?” the one on the left continues, his voice sharp.
I stare at him, flabbergasted that he would even think that I actually have drugs on my person. I know better than to argue, though, so I reach into my pockets and freeze. Plastic crinkles in each pocket, and I instantly know what they are. I’m not an idiot, and I was in the business way too long to not recognize what I’m about to pull out. I curl my fingers around them, feeling the tears welling in my eyes.
Because these aren’t mine, and I know damn well they weren’t there last night. The pills in one of them press against my fingers, and the powder of the other is crushed between my fingers. I tug them out of my pockets and hold them out in the middle of my palms.
The tears release as I shake my head vigorously. “These aren’t mine, I swear,” I croak out and look up at Luke and Jasper. “Please, you believe me, don’t you?”
Luke glares at me, mouth set in a thin line. “Are you fucking serious right now?”