“Talk about it?” I echo and scoff, rolling my eyes. “What is there to talk about? If I don’t do schooling, will you bring me home? Then do it. Or what? You’re going to cut off the money, so I’m forced to live without it? So be it. Devon’s dad said we could live in his house. Devon asked me to move in there with him. I don’t need your money to live with him.”
They share a look. I don’t know what is written on their faces, but it's mutual understanding between the two of them. They look at me again, my father’s expression gentler now. It makes me feel like they are about to walk on eggshells again to accommodate me.
“We don’t think you living with us would be a good idea, Gracie,” my mother starts.
My eyes widen. “Seriously? You’ve always said—”
“We know, and you’re welcome to come home for a few days if you need space. But not to live.”
I shake my head vigorously. “You don’t understand. I can’t do it with school anymore. I don’t believe there’s anything I want to do with it and—”
“Then you can quit,” my father cuts in, surprising both my mother and me. “If that’s really what you want to do, we will support that. But you can’t come home and live.”
I gawk at him, lips parted in surprise, before pulling myself together. “But – but you said about the apartment—”
“I know what I said, and I stand behind what I said. You and the boys will have to figure something out as a team. See what works for the three of you.”
I huff and shake my head, annoyed by the reminder that I’m pretty sure Owen doesn’t even live with us anymore. “I guess I can talk to Devon, but I think Owen sort of moved out.”
“Then get somewhere smaller you can afford together or”—daddy hesitates before continuing—“get somewhere just for you. If needed, I will help with the down payment, but then you’re on your own.”
I stare at him, my cheeks flushing with heat as sudden anger fills me. “So, you’re just going to make me do it on my own?”
He doesn’t change tactics, but I see something flash in his eyes. I know if I press hard enough, whine enough, he’ll give in and provide for everything I need. All I have to do is trap him – when he’s alone. With mom next to him, it’s a little trickier. She’s stricter than daddy. Even with Ryleigh and Wyatt, who had her wrapped around their fingers, she has always been more adamant about not bending to their will.
“We are,” he clears his throat. “I am. You’re a grown adult, Gracie. It’s one thing to help you with your living situation while you’re doing school, but since you no longer want to do it, we expect you to be the grown adult you are.”
My mouth falls open, but before I can say anything else, the waiter reappears as if he’s been summoned out of a lamp or something.
“Are we ready?” he asks a little too cheerfully for my taste.
My eyes flash up to him and narrow. I doubt he’s really this cheerful. He’s just got a job to keep, and the main part is keeping his customers happy. If he stomps to them, grumpy and irritated, he will get bad reviews and, more than likely, be fired. Kudos to him for keeping up a smile.
“I want spaghetti, no meat in the sauce at all,” I tell him, recalling a couple of plates when we’d passed a few tables on the way to ours.
I’m not exactly very hungry, but hey, at least I can pick something to munch on. My mother orders some salad, and daddy gets a steak, receiving the stink eye from mom. He isn’t supposed to eat things that can possibly spike his cholesterol. Seeing her look, he orders a side dish of cottage cheese and is given an approving nod. Even if it isn’t much, it’s the small things that matter. I watch the two of them in silence and, once more, find myself craving that kind of love.
I know I had it once before. Twice, in fact. Owen and Devon would do anything to make me happy, to give me what I wanted. They wanted to be with me, to give me their lives. While Owen had never proposed, we’d talked about marriage as teenagers a few times. I used to think it was just stupid teenage love giving into false dreams, but now when I think about it, I truly think he had been serious. Devon – oh sweet Devon. Maybe if I hadn’t run away, things would’ve been different.
Maybe I would’ve already had kids by now. An actual home. I would know where my place was and what needed to be done. I wouldn’t feel like I was simply drifting out to sea with no land in sight to guide me back home.
But I did run away from both of them.
Now, I’m stuck between wanting all three. I know I can have them all at once right now, but it isn’t up to me to make that call. Besides, Donna has Owen wrapped around her little finger. I don’t know what he sees in that bitch, but for fuck’s sake, why did he have to pick the devil’s spawn to be with?
When the waiter is gone, our conversation picks right back up.
“What if I can’t do it and end back up on the streets?” I accuse, knowing this is going to press daddy’s buttons. That’s the whole point.
“Gracelyn,” my mother reprimands, and I know I’m in trouble now. She’s used my full name. “Don’t you say things like that. You aren’t going to end up on the streets. You’re going to work hard and pay your bills. If you get a little behind and need help, we will help you. We are happy to lend a hand if you’re clean and not spending it on drugs or booze. You know that, young lady.”
I scowl but dip my head and drag my glass in front of me, sipping from the straw. The raspberry tea has a tart taste that I’m not used to, but it isn’t so bad. I could get used to it.
I know I’m being petty, and it’s probably a good thing they aren’t completely giving in to me, but I still don’t like it.
“Gracie,” my father starts, and I draw my eyes up to him. “I know it doesn’t seem fair right now, but you will thank us later.”
“So, you’ll brag about me then, right?” I ask, my voice cracking on the question.