“Not that. I came here for answers, and I got my answers. So, thank you.”
I don’t need to tell him about the confusion spinning through me. Luke doesn’t look convinced, as if he knows there’s more for me to say that I just won’t. I ignore that look and look around the room, trying to remember where I left my phone. Recalling that I set it down somewhere in that strange sex room, which I am still curious about, I leave the bedroom without another word.
I can hear them talk behind me when I’ve crossed the threshold and pretend not to hear them. There’s no reason for me to butt into their conversation.
Walking back to the front of the house, which seems to take forever in this massive home, I locate my phone and wallet exactly where I thought I left them. Swiping the screen, I stare at the multiple texts that line down my phone. Many of them have Devon’s name, obviously panicking, but why I don’t know. A couple are from Colton, and – surprisingly – two are from Owen. I open those first, and feel my heart feels like it’s going to drop into the pit of my stomach.
Owen:Seriously, Gracie? This is bullshit.
I suddenly don’t feel good as I pull up previous messages. There are texts from me, taunting them about moving on, about having found “better.” I didn’t send them through.
“Ready?” Jasper asks, snapping me back to the moment.
I turn to face him and swipe out of the text messages. It’s a good thing he can’t hear my heart because it's thrumming so wildly, that I’m almost convinced it will explode and leave my chest.
“Yeah,” I croak out.
I flip open my wallet as I turn to him and look down to see a few of my cards missing and what little cash I managed to have. My palms go sweaty, and my heart plummets again. I feel like I’m back in time, scrounging for money. I don’t like being without money these days. It reminds me so much of where I used to be, and I never want to return there.
“No,” I say. “Where’s my money?”
“What?” This grabs his attention.
I shake my wallet towards him. “My money. Where is my money?”
Jasper groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Luke!” he hollers and waits until he comes out. “Her money is gone.”
I jut out my chin, bottom lip wobbling. “Somebody was also texting from my phone.”
Luke wrinkles his nose and holds up his phone. “All right, I’ll call my sister.”
He leaves the room, and Jasper pulls out his keys, jangling them. I pocket my wallet and phone, deciding I’ll deal with it later. As Jasper turns, I follow him out of the house to a sleek black car in the driveway. I don’t know my cars, but it looks pretty fancy to me. He pulls open the passenger door, and I slide in, opening my phone again. The texts to Devon say things like I don’t love him, I don’t want to be with him, and that he will never be good enough for me. So many more. His texts are panicked, convinced they’re truly from me, and begging me to call him to fix things. Those to Colton are similar.
My heart skips a beat.
“Gracie?” Jasper asks, his voice sounding slightly distant. “You all right?”
I shake my head vigorously. “There are texts, so many of them, and not from me. The guys…” My voice catches on my words.
His fingers curl around mine and squeeze my hand gently. “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”
I turn to Jasper, and my breath catches with how close he is. He’s lingering just inches from me, seeming to hesitate to kiss me. I lean forward and make the move instead. His lips are chapped and rough, but I don’t mind that at all. Reaching up, I dig my fingers into his hair and hold it tightly. Our tongues dance, fighting. As he pulls back, he nips my bottom lip, and I breathe heavily, feeling the heat caress my cheeks.
“This isn’t good,” I breathe out. “I can’t – I can’t like you guys this way. I can’t want you. I want my guys and—”
“It’s okay to want more than one or even three. You do know that don’t you?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know what I want. I’m sober, Jasper. I go to therapy once a week and like a million AA meetings a week. I have schooling and just don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I want from school or life. I’m just trying to figure out who I am on a general basis. What I want is far off—”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he interrupts. “Gracie, you don’t need to figure out these things right away. I was twenty-eight when I realized I wanted a tattoo shop. I didn’t know before then. It’s okay not to figure everything out right away. Trust me.”
I swallow but nod. Oddly enough, I do trust him. Then again, you can’t help but trust somebody you were standing naked in front of minutes before.
Chapter40
Colton
“I’m telling you; this doesn’t sound like her,” Devon insists, running a hand through his already messy hair.