Of course, I know what she’s talking about.
“Because – because I – He – He’s – your nephew,” she sputters, the words tripping off her tongue.
I blink, clamping at the inside of my cheek again, and breathe out through my nose. It’s definitely weird that the two are slowly figuring out one another, but it isn’t my place to play boss here. I want Marcy to be happy, and if it ends up being with my nephew, who is only a year younger than we are, I will just have to suck it up and deal with it.
“And your point is what? Do you like him, or was it just a one-time thing?”
I don’t need her to tell me the answer, but I want her to say it anyway. Marcy lets out a strangled breath of air, and even from where I sit, I hear the rattle of anguish seeping through her. “I’ve – I’ve been tutoring him because of his football scholarship and all. He – he needed help, so he wouldn’t fall behind and lose his scholarship, you know? So, we’ve been just hanging out, studying, and we kissed a couple of times. He even took me on a date. A really nice dinner and roller skating.” She pauses, a small smile dancing upon her lips as her eyes drift to another time. “The sex part just… sort of happened. A few times.”
What a romantic littleshit. Of course,he is romantic. Clear as day, I had to watch my nephew be just as gentle to my best friend as his father has always been to my sister. Once upon a time, I used to dream of having a man treat me just like that. I had it once, too, a long time ago. Why the fuck did I turn down Devon’s proposal again? Oh right, because of the drugs I hadn’t wanted him to find out about at the time. That was why. Because of something stupid that I wish to the day I could take back.
“I haven’t talked to him since we both got home for break, though. So, I don’t really know his thoughts on anything.”
I roll my eyes. “Marcy, Landon’s a family man. He’s soaking up all the time he can with his family. I’m sure he’s thinking about you but just keeps forgetting to text. Just show up. If he’s happy to see you, everything is good. If not…” I shrug my shoulders, deliberately letting the words fall off my tongue.
Knowing what I’m going to say, Marcy lets out a groan of exasperation. “I don’t want to seem weird just showing up.”
I stare at her, unfazed by her words. “So, don’t. You can spend the night before here and go to the family BBQ then. The guys are going too, so we can all just go together. Mom and daddy will be happy to see you, you know that. Also, Landon will be there. So, there you go.”
Chapter4
Gracie
Ican pretend, for just a little while, that I have them to myself. For slivers of moments, the world only revolves around the three of us. It sucks to know that it isn’t forever, but if I pretend not to listen to the voices that constantly prick the back of my mind, I can easily live in a fantasy for a little while.
“You better eat,” I half tease, half warn, scrunching up my nose at the guys. “I didn’t slave over a phone for twenty minutes ordering for nothing, you know.”
The two men snicker with a roll of their eyes. Owen spears his enchiladas, cutting them before shoving a forkful in his mouth. Chewing, he stares at me. Lowering mine, I pretend that he isn’t. If I allow myself to go that far, it will only be too easy to slip into thinking he wants to be with me again. He has a girlfriend, and as much as I hate her, I know better than to do anything. I don’t want to piss him off by making an unwelcome move.
I cut up my cheese enchilada platter, dip it into the sautéed rice, and pop it in my mouth. Chips and salsa sit in a line between me and the two of them. I have yet to touch any of them, but the guys tore into it first thing.
“So, when do classes start back up, Gracie?” Devon asks before picking up his taco.
I shrug, shift in my seat, and deliberately avoid eye contact with him.
“Gracie,” Devon scolds lightly to get my attention. “You know your father said you have to stay in school for him to keep paying for this apartment.”
I draw in a breath and puff my cheeks out before drawing my eyes up to him and exhaling slowly. “Iknow,okay? School is just… it’s fucking boring.”
Owen drops his fork, the utensil clattering on his plate, and frowns at me, eyebrows furrowing downward. “You made this deal with your dad, Gracie. You’ve gotta keep to it; you must keep doing your classes. Or get a job, and we all know you aren’t ready for a job.”
I scowl and drop back in my chair, glowering at my plate of food. He isn’t wrong. I am in no shape for a stupid job. Besides, with my current record, people are extremely hesitant to hire me. I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to hire me for a business either and have to stress if I was going to steal or slip back into old habits. Besides, daddy has said once I do get a job, he’d oversee my checks. It’s both his and stupid Robert’s plan. To help pay back Lola and ensure I don’t fall back into gambling. They want the best for me, but it still rubs me the wrong way.
“Gracie,” Devon starts, trying to sound as calm as possible. “Come on. You know you aren’t going to give up on it. This is just a bump. What’s going on?”
I let out a slow breath and run my fingers through my hair, sitting forward, taking my fork in my fingers again. Fingers clasp around my wrist, stopping me, and once more, I look up. This time, it’s Owen. His face is soft, eyes gentle as he smiles kindly at me. Wings flutter in my stomach, a reminder of what I’ve lost. Even to this day, they both can make me feel so amazing. They have always made me feel like I can do anything I want to if I just put my mind to it. Not that I’m always so sure, though. Some days, this world feels like it’s crumbling around me. I’ve spent so many years in a drug-induced haze, desperate to get my next fix, that I lost who I was a long time ago. To this day, I’m still not sure what I’m good at or where I could go that would be good for me. It doesn’t help that I don’t even have an interest in the classes that I’ve signed up for. They are so mundane and so basic, but they’ll get me that two-year degree and get people off my back. I doubt I’ll do anything with the degree afterward.
Owen releases my wrist and draws his hand back. “Everything will work out. You’ll see.”
Not when it involves my heart being constantly reminded of what I singlehandedly destroyed. How can I push forward knowing that? It’s just too difficult to pretend that everything is fine and dandy when I can’t even figure out how to navigate each day with a clear mind. I’m getting there, but not as quickly as I really want to.
“Well, you’ll be a whole year sober sooner than you think,” Devon pipes up, trying to change the tense atmosphere. “What would you like to do in celebration?”
My eyes flash up to him, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “What do you mean?”
He smiles and sets his food down, wiping his fingers. “Gracie, a year sober is an amazing accomplishment. So, what would you like to do for it?”
I blink, lips parting slightly as my eyes flicker to Owen, who nods in agreement. “I – I didn’t evenknowwe were supposed to do something.”