The happiness of moments before is now gone, her cheeks splotched in red, and I suddenly feel like a fucking idiot. I just want to be able to put my foot in my mouth to keep myself from saying anything else idiotic. I watch as she digs her phone out of her purse and excuses herself to leave the apartment to make her call. When she’s out of sight, I move back into the kitchen and get into the refrigerator to take out the salad items and make them for Gracie.
By the time I finish it and take out the salad dressings we’ve got to choose from, she enters the apartment again, shoving her phone into that black purse of hers.
“Devon’s bringing me an outfit,” she tells me, but I take in the deflation from her previous mood.
Yes, she looked and sounded a little exhausted, even before, but now it’s like she’s completely given up even trying. I sit the dressings on the island next to the salad bowl and lean over it to assess her.
“Gracie?”
Her eyes flicker up to me, and she gives me a tight-lipped smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Bags hang beneath them, looking more defined with her fake smile. “I’m all right,” she finally says and runs her fingers through her hair. “It’s just been a really long week. I’m drained.”
I nod and watch as she sits down on the couch, not facing me. She doesn’t even bother with the food anymore. “Gracie?” I start again but continue this time when she whips her head around to face me. “You don’t look okay, and I don’t think it’s just from being tired.”
She stares at me for a long moment. Those big brown eyes of hers simmering at me like she is contemplating if she really wants to tell me anything personal. “I went home this weekend, yesterday to be exact, to a family BBQ. Little bottles of whiskey were in my purse. Everybody saw.” Her eyes drop, and her shoulders fall. “I didn’t put them there, though; only Devon believes me. His girlfriend too, but I think she does just in default because she’s with Devon.”
I push off the island and round it to approach her, sitting gingerly beside her on the couch. I reach out and take her nearest hand in mine, wrapping my fingers around it. When she doesn’t jerk it back, I squeeze gently.
“I believe you, Gracie,” I say gently. “Somebody who wasn’t interested in their sobriety wouldn’t be so upset about the whole thing, and they definitely wouldn’t have gone to a meeting tonight.”
She looks up at me, gratitude sparking in her eyes, and leans into me. It's automatic that I follow her direction and our lips mash together. I let go of her hand and reach up, sliding it to the back of her head to hold her in place, our lips parting to allow tongues to enter one another’s mouths. Our tongues dance, our lips move in unison, and then it breaks. Gracie pulls back, breathing heavily, her cheeks flushed crimson. Her eyes sparkle wildly as she jumps to her feet, snatching up her purse. Confusion creases her eyebrows together as she opens her mouth, ready to say something to me but can’t seem to utter a single word.
She groans and then runs out of my grandfather’s apartment. I sit there, letting her go and chastising myself for suddenly kissing her out of the blue. Then again, she had wanted it to, or she wouldn’t have leaned into me. Right? She wanted it too, not just me.
I groan and get up, locate my phone in the kitchen, and dial Landon’s number.
Chapter29
Devon
“Will you just stop?” Kate huffs, annoyed yet again.
She’s clasping a magazine with brides on the front, eager for us to get married. I ignore her and look at my text messages again, taking in Owen’s text.
Owen:The retreat is pushed back a bit.
He doesn’t know it yet, but I promised Kate to marry her after the retreat. She thinks it's soon, so she has to hustle with wedding plans. I now regret asking her to marry me. I don’t want to; I just wasn’t thinking straight when I said that. I can’t take it back now. Yet I will. I have to, especially before this retreat. I don’t care much for the idea of going, and I really don’t see a need for it any longer.
I put my phone down again and round the couch and Kate. She turns to watch me, leaning on the back of the couch to see my every move. I haven’t seen Gracie for a few days now. She’s doing a really damn good job of avoiding coming home, and I don’t like it. Owen has been staying with Donna, claiming he’s doing it to avoid Gracie. Though, I think he’s avoiding everyone at this point.
Everything is a mess.
I enter Gracie’s bedroom against Kate’s protests. My eyes flicker to the bed, the last time I saw her in person. Butt ass naked, legs parted, and ready for me to take her. My dick hardens at the memory, and I clamp my teeth together. I haven’t told Kate yet. I don’t know why. I don’t want to marry her, and I know for a fact that if I tell her, she will dump my ass. I deserve it. I know that. I’m just not ready to let go. Not yet anyway. I will have to before any wedding date is set or before she even goes blabbing to all of her family and hyping them up. Because that is going to be embarrassing as fuck when I have to let her down.
“Devon, you shouldn’t be in here. This is Gracie’s room,” Kate reprimands me gently.
I turn to face her, cocking an eyebrow. “I just want to figure out why she’s gone right now.”
She stares blankly at me and narrows her eyes. “You don’t believe that the whiskey wasn’t hers,” she accuses, astonishment in her words.
I press my lips together, refusing to answer Kate. I hate admitting it, but I didn’t believe Gracie. I still don’t. I want to, and I want Gracie to think somebody is on her side so she can accept help again easier, but this lines up with her past way too well for me to believe her easily.
I turn away from Kate and go back to browsing. I cross the room and pop open a dresser drawer. Socks and underwear greet me. My eyes fall to a pair of thongs, and I swallow heavily, pushing them aside. I have to steal myself, so I don’t pick them up and run them through my fingers with Kate right fucking behind me. The last thing I need is for my current girlfriend to see me ogling over my ex-girlfriend’s thongs.
Pushing them aside, I stop at the small pile of toys. The vibrator I’d seen her using and a few other things I don’t recognize. I’m not very privy to sex toys, but I do recognize the dildo towards the back. It honestly isn’t a surprise she has toys. Nine months without a boyfriend or a man to fuck would make a woman horny. Hell, it would make me horny too.
Not finding anything to justify my thoughts, I close the drawer and pull open the next one.
“Is this what you’re looking for?” Kate asks, her voice soft.