Her eyebrows arch up. “Game?”
It sounds silly from her mouth now, but I’ve already started and know not to just stop and back off now. So, I nod in confirmation. “Yeah, a game. Um, a get-to-know each other game, sort of like that twenty questions game we used to play growing up. But with the four of us.”
Her eyebrows knit together, and she looks curiously at Colton before back at me. She smiles, and I detect a knowing curl in the corners of her lips, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she turns to Landon.
“What do you say?”
My nephew shrugs, wiping what’s left of his spaghetti sauce off his lips, and sits back, his plate empty. “I’m fine with that. Whatever you girls want to do.”
I look at Colton, and he grins, those dimples making view again, and I can’t help the bubbles in my stomach and the flush of heat caressing my cheeks. I duck my head and grab at my iced tea, chugging it.
“Park it is. It should be fun,” Colton finally announces. “I’m game.”
I smile and glance at my purse when it vibrates. Narrowing my eyes, I flick open my purse and draw out my phone to check it.
Devon:Just be careful
I can’t help but frown at the text. I want him to care for me the way he used to and obviously still does. The text is just surprising because I honestly didn’t peg him for one to really push this. He’s acting weird, and that’s saying something. Devon prefers to stay calm and collected. For him to lose control isn’t right. Or at least, it just isn’t normal for him. I decide to ignore his text and shove my phone back into my purse.
We finish up eating and stack our dishes. Landon and Colton pool their money and pay. Landon pays for his and Marcy’s share of the meal, and Colton pays for mine and his. I don’t know how to thank him, words duh, but they won’t come. So, I just stand there, feeling stupid as I wait. After tossing the tips on the table, Colton joins me at my side with his coat dangling from his fingertips. That grin splatters across his face again, and I’m mesmerized all over again.
By the time we walk out the doors of the restaurant, nearly an hour and a half has passed. It’s grown slightly darker, and stars twinkle up in the sky, but I can’t see the moon when I look up. A few streetlamps shine on the sides, and I wonder if my bright idea of going to the park is a good one or not at this point. I hesitate and fall slightly back, but not enough to get too behind them. Fingers brush over my hand, and I look up instantly at Colton. He’s looking down at me, perplexed but worried. He doesn’t ask, though; I feel relieved he doesn’t. People prodding me to ensure I’m okay at all hours of the day tends to irritate a person. Sometimes, I feel like I’m a little kid all over again with constantly being watched.
I look down at our hands. His is still dangling there, barely touching my fingers. Again, I hesitate before forcing my hand to turn, and I slide my palm into his. His fingers instantly curl around mine and squeeze gently. I have to remind myself I’m safe with him. He’s Ralph’s grandson, and it’s only because of that knowledge first I don’t run off. Ralphs is a good, old man who I admire. Which means his grandson has to be as well if he comes from that kind of stock. Giving him a chance is a good thing. At least, I’m sure of that. It’s enough for me not to take my hand out of his.
The park is near the middle of the town. Few people are at it when we arrive and even before we step onto the grass, I can tell they’re adults. Kids wouldn’t be out at this house running about unless they were teens on a mission not to go home or had curfew yet to hit. Maybe some of them are teens. The distance we are, I can’t tell for sure. But I do know what they’re doing. I’m not stupid, and it's exactly what I used to come to the park at night to do.
“Maybe we should go somewhere else,” Marcy starts, worry dipping in her voice as she turns to catch my eye quickly before looking away. “Just to stay away from…” She doesn’t say it.
She doesn’t need to say it, though. I know what the unspoken words are. I stop in my tracks, yanking Colton to a stop when he tries to go further. There’s no arguing this. I don’t think I’m ready to be around an entire group. One person drinking, one smoking at a time around me, is one thing. But an entire fucking group?
“Yeah, we should go,” Landon agrees and turns sharply. “Where do you want to go?”
“We can go back to my apartment,” I say quickly, even though I know he wasn’t exactly speaking right at me. “There’s plenty of space there.”
“Let’s go there,” Marcy agrees before either Landon or Colton can argue against it. “She’s right, lots of space. We can play the game at the dining room table and then watch a movie. The TV is big enough.”
I step back, and it hits me like a slap to the face. A gentle breeze of the wind carries it over us. It stings my nostrils, and I feel the crippling desire to just give in and go to it. Or maybe it’s my imagination working overtime and making me smell what I want to. What I can’t have. What I mustn’t have.
A tug on my arm turns my head, and Colton sharpens my focus once more. “Are you coming?” he asked, that worry back in his tone.
“Yeah,” I croak and let my feet obey the command of the pull, willing myself to get the hell away from it all.
We walk in silence. Back to the restaurant and down the way, Marcy and I had come. Landon and Colton had driven, but they’d pick up their vehicle after we were done. I don’t let go of Colton’s hand. I’m pretty sure I’m squeezing tighter than before, but Colton doesn’t say or do anything about it. I’m afraid that if I let go, I’ll run back to the park. Maybe I can get myself not to do exactly that, but I don’t know for sure.
I need Monday to come. I need to sit with my therapist and talk. I need to get this off my chest. I don’t want to burden anyone else with this. My therapist is okay to do so because it’s her job to be burdened with my crap. She gets paid for it off my daddy’s dime, after all.
As we get to my apartment building, I let Marcy lead the way inside, into the elevator, and down the hall that I’ve walked so many times. This time, with my first ever company, that is more than just one person. I don’t know if I’m nervous. But I do know this is the right step. This isn’t the company that wants to smoke, drink, or do anything with me. They want to be around me, to spend time with me. It’s a little weird that one is my nephew, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.
I check the knob when we arrive at my door and find it unlocked. Which means that either Devon or Owen or both of them are home. I hesitate again and look down at mine and Colton’s locked hands. He squeezes in assurance that I don’t force them to part because of that. I push open the front door and pull Colton with me, Marcy and Landon coming in behind.
Surprisingly, it's only Devon and Owen on the couch, just like I had left them. They turn at our entrance, and both Devon and Owen look right at me, their eyes flickering down to mine and Colton’s interlocked hands. Neither one says a word and just turn back to their television show or movie, whatever they’re watching.
“Over here,” Marcy chirps, tugging Landon with her to the table.
Colton pulls me as I push the door closed behind us, and we sit across from the other couple.
Chapter17