Page 20 of The Beauty in Grace

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I raise my head and look at her again. “I hurt you too. I gave up our friendships for a long time and—”

“I don’t care about that,” she interjects and reaches out, taking my hand in hers, squeezing tightly. “All I care about is that I have you back. Coming back is all that I’ve asked. So, you can cross me off your list or whatever you have.”

I bite my bottom lip, trying not to nod again. I feel like at this point that I’m just bobbing my head like a bobblehead.

“Look,” she continues, nudging me gently. “If you really don’t want to do this date—”

“I do,” I say quickly and know it’s a little too quick when her eyebrows shoot up in question. “Really, I do. It’s just,” I lick my lips. “My last date was with Devon.”

Her face droops slightly in understanding. “A while, huh?”

I confirm it with a jerk of my head and look at the shoes I had dropped on the floor beneath the hanger that now holds my date dress in the open closet. It doesn’t have a door, not that I’m worried about it. Besides Marcy, no one else comes into my room. There’s also nothing extremely private hanging on the clothes rack, so it’s not like it matters.

“It’ll be all right,” she finally says, trying to assure me.

I smile at her and nod a little more enthusiastically, but my stomach is now coiling. My nerves are boiling, and I have to keep down the bile of words that want to explode, to decline the date. I have to go through with it. Not just to be petty and rub it in the guy’s faces, but for myself. I have to do this for myself. Just like Marcy said, I’m allowed to be a little selfish.

Chapter13

Devon

Irub my forehead. Thank fuck I have today off, it being Saturday. After the night with Owen, I can’t begin to fathom being in the office today. My head is throbbing from sleep deprivation, and I’m ready to go back to bed. Just a few hours of sleep, very fractured, but I suppose it’s better than nothing. I just have to wait for the coffee to kick in and get moving. At least I don’t really have plans for today.

I lean my head back on the couch cushions, gripping my cup of coffee between my fingers. It’s gone lukewarm in the slow sips I’ve been taking. I’m too tired to down it like normal, and besides, without the urgency of work, I have no reason to just chug it. The volume on the television is low, and the voices are soft, even when it comes to action-packed scenes. I don’t bother turning it on. It isn’t my sleep-deprivation headache I’m worried about. I’m unnerved by Owen’s hangover. I know he drank once, or maybe twice, in high school, but that was it. I think it was just at a part or two, I don’t know the full details. But otherwise, the man hasn’t drank since. Until last night. His slurred words hadn’t exactly explained what it was about, though.

What I did get was something Gracie and Donna, but the details surrounding the women weren’t very tangible. I’m worried that he’s going to crack. Owen’s a strong man, but everyone has their limits. And I know Gracie hasn’t intentionally done anything to provoke him this time around, but Donna is a whole thing just herself. Gracie being around amplifies Donna tenfold.

A gentle knock on the front door turns my head, and I advance on it with bleary eyes and a groan as I have to pull my body from the couch. Socks and shorts, that’s all I’m good for on the weekends, and whoever’s on the other side can deal with it. They’re the ones interrupting me, after all.

But the one on the other side already knows how I feel about the weekends. I’ve already spent a few weeks at her house, so she doesn’t even blink an eye at my lack of clothing. Instead, Kate smiles sheepishly and holds up a fresh to-go cup of coffee in one hand and a box of donuts in the other, both from that ma and pa place near the end of town that I love so much. She’s a sweetheart, and it's one reason I like her. I step to the side, allowing her in, and shut the door behind her entrance. I didn’t try stifling a yawn.

“Good morning, handsome,” she chirps and goes to sit the box of donuts on the table. “Is Gracie up? I got enough donuts for everybody.”

I had already told her about Owen. The thing about our relationship is that we’re open about everything. There are no secrets between us. So, while I was taking care of Owen all night, I’d updated her on everything. She’d fallen asleep at some point but must’ve caught up on everything when she woke this morning. I’m only sure of that because she isn’t asking questions. But offering Gracie donuts?

It hits like a lightbulb as I look at the door and back to her. Donna isn’t here. That’s the only difference. Donna controls Kate, who has told me so many times that she just fucking hates it, but goes along to keep the peace. I know by now that Kate doesn’t like confrontation. If she can avoid it, she will. Which means just going along with whatever Donna wants. Even so, I know she isn’t a fan of Gracie for her own reasons. Kate is just a good person; that’s all it is.

“I don’t know, honestly. I think I heard her and Marcy stirring. They also stayed up late last night, so I don’t know.”

She looks at me in sympathy. “Owen’s okay, right?”

I nod. “I made sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit, and now he’s just sleeping it off. He’s going to need a big cup of black coffee to get his hangover to go away when he does wake up,” I laugh, but it’s short-lived before fading.

“Do you… know why?” she asks slowly, choosing her words carefully.

I shrug. “Your guess is as good as mine. He didn’t tell me anything. Well, anything coherent so I could figure it out.”

She looks at Owen’s door in sympathy and shakes her head, handing me the cup of coffee. Realizing I’m still holding my old one in the ceramic mug, now cold to the touch, I take her offer in my free hand and set the other down on the table with a clunk. As if the movement is an alarm of some sort, Gracie’s door opens, and she departs from her bedroom, Marcy following behind. They’re both sleep-riddled, ruffled hair sticking up every which way. It’s going to be killer to get the knots out, and they both have smudged eyeliner around their eyes. Their clothes are wrinkled, yesterday’s outfits telling me they passed out right in them. My eyes linger over Gracie. Her eyes flicker up to me, sleepy brown ones that I still adore. Her cheeks are splotched pink, and she gives me a smile, her tongue flicking over her lips as she averts her gaze.

“Donuts?” Her voice is crackly from sleep.

Kate nods. “You and Marcy are more than welcome to them.”

“Thank you,” Gracie murmurs, avoiding having to look fully at Kate or me again as she approaches the box with her best friend, and they dig in.

I can’t ask Kate to marry me. Ever. I love her, but not in the way I need to in order to settle down. She’s a good woman. She wants children and a house with a picket white fence. Four kids, two of each, and a dog and a cat. Everything I want. But I don’t want it with her, and I hate that. I know settling with Kate is probably the most sensible thing to do, and I’m a logical man, but it’s the one I can’t allow myself to do. She knows it too. We talk about what we want for our futures, but it’s never with us being together.

When Marcy and Gracie are done picking out their donuts, I step to the box and choose a white frosted one, taking a seat with my new steaming hot coffee to enjoy my breakfast.


Tags: Reese Jett Erotic