“I wish -” he shook his head, making his bright hair fall over his eyes again.
“What do you wish?” Minna asked, intrigued.
“I wish we could be together, because you are a fine woman.” He stood up and helped her to her feet. “But that is impossible. I am never going to be the Laird of Cairndene and I know that, but I would at least like to see it return to the state it was in when my father was there. It was my home - the place I grew up in, and it hurts me to see it rotting away. Do you think you could make your brother see that?”
Minna could see the desperation in his dark eyes, and she knew that he was hurting. He had told her a little of his history, and she could only imagine the pain he must have felt when his home and then his beloved mother were wrenched away from him.
“You are not the first person to ask me,” she said, sighing. “I have no way of making him change his ways. If I could find something to threaten him -” She shrugged - “but I have nothing.”
Minna had been looking at the floor while she was speaking, but now she looked up and met his dark gaze again. She almost felt herself melt, and her world narrowed to Gowan’s eyes, Gowan’s face.
Gowan had been isolated from the world for years, but he had not been celibate. Before his state of isolation there had been plenty of willing young women eager to come to his bed, and while he had been someone else.
She was a widow whom he had met in Dundee who had taken pity on him in his scarred and wounded state, and shown him the delights of physical love. He had known her for only a few days, and he knew he would never see her again, but there had been enough time for her to teach him about the many ways to please a woman.
He wished he could try some of his skills on Minna, the beautiful woman standing before him. She had not ridiculed his scars, or seemed frightened of him in any way. She had not judged him or expressed any opinions on the way he had chosen to live his life. He had kept her captive for a few days and she had not been frightened or tried to escape. Moreover, she was kind.
He wished he could stay like this forever, in this one room with her, cocooned from the world, but that of course was impossible. He was a lost cause, but she was not, and she was making it so difficult for him to let her go. They were standing only a foot apart, but he dared not move any closer. “You must leave,” he said huskily.
Minna opened the door a fraction. The rain was not just pouring down - it was being propelled by the wind in great sheets, and she knew that it would be impossible for her to walk outside without being soaked in minutes.
“I am afraid I cannot go anywhere yet,” she told him, sighing. “I will have to stay a little longer.”
Gowan’s heart skipped a beat. The news that she would have to stay filled him with both gladness and apprehension, because having so much temptation around him was a pleasurable kind of torture.
Minna turned around and found that he was still very close to her, close enough for him to bend his head and touch his lips to hers.
Their second kiss was raw with hunger, desire and longing. Minna felt as if she had been given something delicious, and was allowed to savor as much of it as she could for as long as she wanted. Gowan plundered her mouth with his. This time he did not caress her lips - he ravaged them, pressing them against her teeth and sweeping his tongue around her mouth. It should have been painful, but it was not. It was something else - something Minna had never felt before, but desperately wanted - needed - to feel again.
Gowan was on fire. His hands were everywhere - her breasts, her backside, her thighs. He could simply not get enough of her. Everything about her was so completely soft and womanly, exactly the opposite of him. They were meant to fit together - it was soright.
Then the real world came crashing back. What the hell was he doing? Had it been so long since he had held a woman that he had become a savage? Abruptly, he pulled away and took a step back, then turned away. His shaft was throbbing with desire, but he could not indulge it with Minna; it was too dangerous and would mean a world of trouble for both of them.
“I should not have done that,” he growled, angry with himself. “Again! Please forgive me.”
“I liked it,” Minna admitted, smiling. “There is nothing to forgive.” In truth, she would have asked him to do it again if he had not been so angry with himself.
“Not like that. I should have known better.” His voice was grim. “Will you tell your brother about me?”
“Do you want me to?” she asked, surprised.
“No!” he cried, then sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I can't stop you if you want to, though.”
“Then I will not say a word to anyone,” she assured him. “I swear to it, and I am a woman of my word.”
“I believe you. I have known you for such a short time, and yet I trust you, Minna.” He gave her one last longing glance, then turned and left.
Minna sat down again and touched her sensitive, swollen lips. She had thought before that kissing was merely a gentle touching of lips, but now she knew there was so much more.
However, if it was a skill she had to learn, she would only let one man be her teacher. She would see Gowan Hepburn again - she would make sure of it, then he would show her all there was to know about the mysteries of - love? She shook her head, dismissing the thought and berating herself for being stupid.
She heard a rustling sound from outside and was immediately on the alert, but a quick glance out of the doorway told her that it was only a deer, which bounded away as soon as it saw her.
She looked around herself at the old hut that was barely big enough for Gowan to stand up in and thought about what kind of hopelessness and fear made a man shut himself off from the world altogether. He was all alone in the world, thinking that his disfigurement set him apart from his fellow men, and he had never given himself a chance to find out if this was true.
‘Well, Gowan, you are not alone any more,’she thought grimly,‘because I will fight for you.’
16