“I can’t,” I force myself to say.
She pauses, eyes churning. Then, without another word, she walks over to the wall, where the implements hang. She selects a black leather cat o’ nine tails whip and pulls it down carefully.
Turning back to me, she takes long, elegant steps. Each one feels like it lasts a century.
I watch her move. Her legs are tanned and toned. Her hips rock side to side with each stride. And most of all, that look in her eyes. That blazing fucking fire.
My cock strains hard against my zipper. I’m squeezing the hell out of the armrests, knuckles white against my skin.
She stops in front of me. “Show me what to do, Kian,” she says again.
This time, her voice is fucking irresistible.
I feel like I’m in a dream, an out-of-body experience. I rise to my feet and take the whip she offers me.
She pirouettes away like a dancer and walks over to the iron table in the middle of the space. I’m mesmerized by the shimmering light in her hair as she faces away from me. Her hands make quick work of the clasp on her jeans.
She shoves them down her thighs. Leans forward over the table.
The light on her ass is a fucking marvel. A perfect curve. Unmarked skin, ripe and beautiful.
I’m torn between now and fifteen years in the past.
The way Annabelle screamed…
“Show me what this place is for, Kian,” Renata murmurs.
The lash of her blond hair as she turned the corner of the stairs…
I raise the whip. Renata’s hands squeeze the edge of the table in anticipation.
The fading sounds of Annabelle’s tears as she went away, away, away…
I can do it. I can have her. I won’t make the same mistakes I did before. This time will be different. This time will be better.
And then I remember the last thing Annabelle said, just before she fled.
“I trusted you.”
Trust, control—they mean nothing and everything at the same time. Renata thinks she wants this because she’s been born in pain, bred in pain.
And I caused that. I’ve hurt her already, twenty years ago, and the memory of that day has caused every scrap of pain she’s ever had since.
Logan, Drago, all the million injustices in between… that’s all my fault.
I’ve hurt this girl enough. I can’t do it again. Not if I want to avoid becoming the monster I’ve always sworn I’m not.
I let the whip fall from my hand. It clatters on the ground.
“Go,” I order in a gruff voice.
“What?” She turns to look at me. I glance away—I can’t look her in the eyes right now. I’m barely retaining control over myself. One moment of contact with those doe eyes will break that stranglehold.
“Pull your pants up and go,” I bark. “We’re not doing this.”
“But—”
“Now.”
She flinches away from me and hurriedly tugs her jeans back up over her hips. I can see her shaking, but I turn my back to her.
I listen as she slinks away. Hesitant at first, then faster and faster. And then she’s gone, and I’m alone again in the first place I ever confronted what I truly am inside.
Renata thought she wanted to know what happens down here. What this place really is.
I couldn’t bear to tell her the truth:
This is where a devil lands when he falls from heaven.