“It’s true,” he replies without hesitation. “He was a monster I needed to put down. I have no regrets.”
I nod. “Okay…”
“Okay?”
I don’t clarify what I mean. If he’s looking for absolution, I’m not sure I’m the person to give it to him. But honestly, I don’t think he’s looking for absolution at all.
“So what do you consider yourself?” I ask. “A villain with a cause? An antihero?”
“Just a man,” he says firmly. “I’ve made decisions in my life. Some have paid off and others haven’t. I don’t consider myself a hero or a villain. I’m neither. You see in me what you want to see. Aisling sees me as a hero. You see me as a villain. My niece sees me as a superhero with funny jokes. My father sees me as a disappointment. It all depends on your perspective. Although I tend to think my niece is the most correct.”
I take that in. Drawn into Kian’s world, his head. Every word he speaks snips another thread in the tapestry of him my brother spent years weaving.
In some ways, he’s exactly what Drago always accused him of being—cruel, unyielding, dominant.
But in so many other ways, he’s the exact opposite. He thinks. He cares. Maybe he even loves.
That last one intrigues me the most.
“Have you ever been in love?”
He pauses and looks at me for a while. Then his eyes drift off somewhere into the shadows above. “There was a woman once,” he admits. “A few years ago. We weren’t together for very long, but it was the closest I came to considering a commitment.”
“What happened?”
“She left.” His voice is curt. The message is clear—Don’t ask anything else.
I shudder at the way he can communicate so much without speaking a word. Redirecting my attention to the food, I take a bite of the cake. I can’t help but moan in pleasure. It’s the most sinfully delicious thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.
“Dear Lord,” I sigh, looking down at it.
“Good?”
“Amazing,” I reply with a fervent nod. “Best cake I’ve ever eaten.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Sorry, what we were even talking about?”
He laughs. “If you don’t remember, I’m not going to remind you.”
I glare at him and take another bite of the cake. I decide to focus on eating for a few minutes. Kian just watches me silently. Only when half the cake is gone and my sweet tooth has been satisfied do I recall what my next question is.
“Why did she leave you?”
His jaw tightens a little. He tried to put up a boundary here. But I think the fact that I charged forward anyway startled him a little bit. Or maybe impressed him—I’m not sure which. Either way, he’s clearly weighing whether or not to answer.
In the end, he sighs. “Because I was too much for her.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
“Exactly that,” he replies evasively. “I was too… extreme for her. I scared her.”
“I can’t say I blame her.”
“Does that mean I scare you?”
“I’m the one asking the questions,” I quip.