“I don’t want to spend my life fighting,” he says, cutting me off. “I don’t want to command men. I don’t want to be responsible for their lives.”
“What about us?” I ask selfishly. “You’re just gonna leave us?”
“Kian and you are gonna be fine.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I know you,” Sean points out. “Under all that jokey bullshit, you’re more like Da than I am.”
I rear back like he slapped me. “Seriously, you’re gonna insult me before running out on the family?”
He smiles. “I’m not running out on anyone. I’m leaving. For the first time, I get to decide what I want for myself.”
My expression falls back into seriousness. “You know that’s not how it works in this family,” I remind him. “We rely on each other. Our lives are all interconnected.”
“I won’t make a good don, Cillian,” he says. “I don’t have what it takes.”
“You’ve done it so far.”
“And it’s killing me slowly. Just because I hide it well doesn’t mean I don’t feel the pressure.”
“I can help you—”
“No,” Sean says. “I realized something in the study while Da was yelling at me. I’ve been disappointing him for years. I see it in his eyes every time he looks at me. And what does Da do when he’s disappointed in someone?”
I pause. “I don’t…”
“He gets rid of them,” Sean says. “He doesn’t tolerate incompetence. He never has. The man is unyielding.”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is that if I weren’t his son, he’d have dismissed me a long time ago. He’s holding out hope because he’s my father.”
“So what are you saying?” I press. “You’re doing this for him?”
“I’m stepping aside,” Sean says. “I’m handing over the reins.”
I stop short, realization dawning slowly.
With Sean stepping down, the mantle of heir falls on the next in line.
Me.
Sean smiles slowly. “You’ve always been a little slow, haven’t you?”
“I can’t be the don,” I say immediately.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t… I was never meant to be.”
“You’ll learn on the job,” Sean tells me. “You’re more suited to the role than I ever was.”
“How the fuck do you figure that?”
“It doesn’t touch you like it does with me,” Sean says. “It doesn’t linger with you like it does with me. You’ll be able to do the job, and you’ll do it well. I wouldn’t be leaving now if I didn’t think you could do this.”
“Fuck,” I breathe, running my hands through my hair.