Slowly, he pulls the window open all the way and settles himself right in front of it.
I notice he’s got two guns in either hand and a few back-ups right behind him.
I’d been determined to help this morning, but now, staring at the gun in my hand, I can’t help feeling that it was naïve on my part.
Could I pull the trigger if it mattered? Could I kill for the man I love?
What if I miss? What if I fail? What if I hurt someone innocent?
I know what that did to Sean when he hit my father all those years ago. It ruined him from the inside out.
Could I survive the guilt?
Could I—
“Hey,” Kian interrupts, resting his fingertips on my forearm. “Relax. You’ve got to stay calm.”
“You’re not even looking at me.”
“I don’t need to,” he replies. “I can sense your nerves from here. It’s distracting.”
“How are you so calm?”
“Practice.” He doesn’t take his eyes off the men down in the courtyard.
I glance around, realizing that there are only two other men on the opposite side of the wall. Both are hunched over the window in the same way Kian is. Both have already taken aim.
That means that Cillian is out there with ten men.
I do a quick count of the Kinahans. There’s twelve in total, including Tristan.
“We can win this, can’t we, Kian?” I ask.
“Fuck yeah, we can,” he says. “Preferably before the rest of the cavalry shows up.”
“Ours or theirs?” I ask, realizing belatedly that I’ve already started assimilating myself with the O’Sullivan clan.
“Either. Both.”
I watch as Tristan’s mouth moves. But this time, he’s talking to Cillian alone. I have no idea what he’s saying and it’s driving me crazy.
I lean in a little closer as if that’ll help. Maybe that’s why I miss the gunshot that rings through the air.
I gasp and jump back as though someone has fired straight at me.
When I look back down to the courtyard, it’s clear that chaos has unleashed.
With my heart in my throat, I search for Cillian.
The men are all embroiled in little pockets of fighting. And now that their formations have broken and they’re all mixed in together, it looks as though their number has doubled.
Where is Cillian?
And then I see him, embroiled in a fight with Tristan.
My free hand clutches at the window pane and my nails dig into the aged wood.
Cillian is taller, learner, younger.