I see instead the man that he’s become.
I couldn’t be prouder. He’s the best of all of us. The best of Ma and Da. The best of Sean and me. The best of all the people we’ve lost along the way.
In some ways, he is the perfect don.
Except that he doesn’t want to be.
“You’re gonna make a fine leader one day, little brother,” I say. “In fact, I think you already are.”
He snorts. “Don’t ruin the fucking moment and get all sentimental on me.”
“I’m serious,” I insist. “Maybe things happened the way they were meant to.”
Kian gives me a secretive smile. “I think we’re talking about very different situations here, Cil.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re back,” he says. “That is the right outcome for this family.”
“Are you kidding me?” I ask. “I’m here to resolve shit with Ma and Da. This business with the Kinahans threw a spanner in the works. But once I remove and destroy the fucking spanner, I’m going back home.”
“Home?”
“Home,” I underscore. “Los Angeles is my home now, Kian. This visit is temporary. I’m going back to the States and when I do, I won’t ever return here.”
Kian shrugs. “If that’s what you believe.”
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?’
“Acting like you know me better than me.”
“Maybe I do.”
I roll my eyes. “Do I need to remind you that I’m eight years older?”
“No argument there. You’re eight years older and you definitely look it. I’ve just had a lot of fucking time to analyze all the family drama that led us to this moment.”
“Is that so?” I ask. “And what conclusion have you come to, Oh Wise One?”
He smiles. “That you got it wrong before. It’s not true.”
“What’s not true?”
“That none of Da’s sons want to be don,” Kian points out.
I frown.
“You said it yourself, Cillian. Sean left. I was the only remaining option. But you were the one who was banished outright. You left because you were forced to.”
I stare at him furiously.
Because he’s right. He’s fucking right.
I never wanted to leave Dublin.
I never wanted to leave the family.
“See?” Kian says with a smile. “I’m the good looks and the brains in the family.”
For once, I don’t have a witty comeback.