Even though, in my heart, I’ve never wanted anything more.
“I’m not asking you to,” he replies. “I’m just saying that the situation is precarious at the moment. It’s best you stay put until we have a better idea of what’s happening. And who’s after you.”
He doesn’t have to try and convince me.
Truthfully, he never has.
He had me at the first smile.
“Well?” he demands.
“Well what?”
“Are you gonna keep acting like you don’t want to stay or are you just gonna cut the dramatics and give in to the inevitable?”
I sigh. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Stop it; you’re making me blush.”
I shake my head. “You’ve always been skilled at twisting insults into compliments.”
He shrugs and pushes past me as he enters the room. He goes straight for the bed and plops himself down there.
“Fuck, that feels good,” he says with a relieved sigh. “Remind me never to spend the night in a chair ever again.”
I close the door and follow him to the bed. But I don’t sit down next to him, of course. That way lies danger.
I just stand there, a few feet away, trying not to be too obvious about the fact that it’s hard to stop looking at him.
“Who asked you to post up on guard duty?”
“You did. When you started fighting me on every single fucking decision I make.”
“When it pertains to my life, I think I have every right to voice an opinion.”
“Maybe I know what’s best for you.”
I glare at him, my expression turning cold instantly. He seems to realize what he’s just said, because he gets to his feet and gives me a strained look.
“Okay, that came out wrong.”
“Did it?”
“I just… I want to protect you, Saoirse.”
“Yeah? Because that’s what Tristan says to me all the time. That he wants to protect me. But I know what he really means—he wants to control me.”
Cillian goes silent, and I almost regret saying that.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble. “That was below the belt.”
“No,” Cillian says thoughtfully, glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes. “No, it wasn’t. You’ve spent your whole life being told what to do by a man. Why would you have any desire to listen to another?”
He’s right.
That’s exactly how I feel.
I’m so floored by that that I barely notice Cillian moving closer to me.