“Any new leads?” he inquires.
I grit my teeth. He doesn’t have to explain what he’s talking about.
Ma and Da are who-the-fuck-knows-where with some very bad people. The clock is ticking. And we have jack shit to go off of.
“I’ll find them both,” I promise him. “Don’t worry, brother. I’ve got this.”
“Do you?” Kian asks. “How?”
“I’m still figuring that part out.”
“Jesus. You don’t have a plan, do you?”
“I like to wing it.”
Kian closes his eyes for a moment. “Da’s gonna kill me if he survives.”
“Ma will probably kill you first,” I point out. “But don’t worry—I’ll try and protect you.”
“You’ll try, huh?”
“Of course. So long as it doesn’t mess with my plans for the day.”
“Asshole.”
I laugh, and Kian joins in after a second.
But when we relapse into silence, the enormity of our current position settles over both of us.
“I’m gonna have to talk to the men,” I realize.
“I’ve briefed them already,” Kian replies. “But I think it’s important that they hear from you. You’re the don now, Cillian. But it’s not just about being handed the reins.”
The unspoken sentiment is clear: I have to earn this shit. Nothing in life comes free. Not leadership nor love.
The men need to know I’m capable of this.
“You know I’ve got your back, right?” Kian says.
I chuckle. “Yeah, you’re going to be a real help all holed up here in your room.”
Kian wrinkles his brow. “Y’know, you used to be nicer when I was ten.”
“It was easy. You worshipped me back then.”
“What makes you think I stopped?” he asks. Kind of softly. Kind of sadly.
A lump rises in my throat, but I push it down and nod. “I’m sorry I left the way I did, Kian.”
“You don’t have to—”
I raise a hand to cut him off. “I wish I could have said goodbye to you. I wish I could have explained.”
“I know,” Kian sighs. “I was pissed. Some days, I still am. But other days, I get it. You were a kid yourself and you were kicked out of the family. Da left you on your own when he should have fought for you.”
It means a lot to hear him say those words. I know that’s what he would have done in Da’s position.
But then, I shouldn’t be surprised.