Saoirse
Dublin, Ireland
It’s happening.
It’s finally fucking happening.
Twelve months since I made the choice to leave, I’m getting the hell out of this nightmare.
The wind is biting as I make my way through the streets, pulling my black suitcase behind me.
I’ve managed to squeeze a lifetime’s worth of memories into this one suitcase. I’m pretty proud of the accomplishment.
I’d been forced to shed a lot, too, but it was unnecessary weight at this point.
I feel good about my decisions.
I feel good about the amount of money I’ve managed to save in the last year.
I can feel it burning a hole in my pocket, but in only a few hours, I’ll be on a plane out of Ireland.
Surely, I’ll start to feel safer then.
Right?
I checked to find a pawn shop open at all hours of the night. When I turn the corner, there it is—the Black Rook, looking just as grimy and inconspicuous as it had in the pictures online.
I want a place that flies under the radar. This’ll do perfectly.
I glance at my phone, but I know I don’t need to. No one’s going to miss me for hours.
I took the day off from work and Tristan is currently passed out drunk on the sofa in the living room. He won’t be up for a while.
Hopefully, when he does come to, I’ll be in the sky, headed towards a different life.
I step into the pawn store and head straight to the counter.
The man behind it is burly, bearded, and heavily tattooed.
The mirrors on the ceiling offer a birds’ eye view of his weirdly shiny bald head. It’s a struggle not to keep gawking at the reflection as I slip the wedding ring from my finger and place it on the counter.
The moment I’m no longer wearing it, I feel lighter.
“How much can you give me for this?” I ask, trying to keep the excited tremor out of my voice.
The guy takes the ring and examines it carefully. “Is this a genuine diamond?”
“I was told it is.”
“Small,” he comments with pursed lips.
“The band is white gold.”
“Whatever you can give me for it is fine.”
I have enough money to start fresh. I don’t really need the money from this ring. It’s more a symbolic action on my part.
“A hundred euros.”