“There is a girl,” I admit. “Woman now, I suppose.”
“Aha! I knew it. Smarter than I look.”
I shake my head. “It’s not what you think. It was over before it even had a chance to begin. Last I heard, she’d married.”
“But you still think about her?”
“Yes,” I confess while I stare down into the depths of my scotch. “More often in the last year than ever before.”
“Maybe that means something.”
“Even if I go back, I can’t disrupt her life. She’s probably got the whole white picket fence, golden retriever kind of setup going for her. Bet she’s got a couple of kids, too. A whole life that doesn’t include me.”
“You don’t know any of that for certain, son,” Diego points out gently.
I smile. “Are you actually encouraging me to find her?”
“If she’s still on your mind after all these years, you owe it to yourself to do just that. And if she’s happy like you’re assuming, then you can move on with your life. And if not…”
“Never pegged you for a romantic, Diego.”
“I used to be,” he admits. “Then Alayna died.”
I understand what he’s trying to tell me. If Alayna was out there, somewhere in the world, he’d be searching for her.
“Thanks, Diego,” I say. “For everything.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“No, I have to mention it,” I insist, meeting his eyes. “You gave me a second chance.”
“Actually, Carla did,” he clarifies. “I wanted to leave you in the dirt.”
“You’re right. I take it back, you bastard.”
He laughs, but he sobers up pretty quickly. “You don’t need to wait to finish the roof or the fence, Cillian. You need to leave. You’ve made the decision in your heart already. It’s time to go.”
“But Carla...”
Leaving her really is weighing on me. Maybe in some ways, she’s become my best friend, too.
“Carla’s tough. Tougher than she knows herself,” Diego says. “She’ll understand. Maybe not right away, but in time.”
I sit there for a moment and weigh what he’s saying. I wish I could poke holes in the argument.
But he’s right.
I made the decision in my heart a long time ago. And I’ve denied it and denied it and denied it.
There’s no denying it anymore.
It’s time to go home.
“I’m gonna get my stuff together,” I say quietly. “And then I’ll find her before I… before I leave.”
Diego nods.
We finish our scotch and then I make my way to my room. It takes me only a few minutes to gather up my things. I don’t have much.