We’re seventeen. What do we know about love? No matter what my heart says. Eric kisses me, and doesn’t let me go. And for the rest of the time that we have, I know I’ll be able to enjoy it. In an actual bed.
I’m smiling as Eric rolls on top of me.
* * *
It’s dim in the camper when I open my eyes, entirely alone. Next to me, there is a CD in a case with a note.
You asked for a recording. This was the best I could do here.
Three weeks.
-Eric
Terror floods my chest, and I put on my clothes and burst out the doors of the camper. The whole camp is the usual frenzy of the last day. Campers running around for last minute swims and packing. I sling my bag over my shoulder and head toward the main camp. I don’t see Eric.
He has to be here, right? The camper is still here, and it belongs to his family. There, I see his dad across the grounds. He has to be here. Mr. Elmore sees me and waves a hand, and I wave back.
Okay. Okay. He loves the lake. He’s probably gone for one last swim. I’ll go pack my stuff quickly so I’m not rushing for the bus and then I’ll find him. Last night was perfect and beautiful. And even though we’re taking time, that didn’t mean that I don’t want to say goodbye.
And suddenly three weeks seems like an eternity. Maybe I made a mistake?
I change my clothes and toss my stuff in my suitcase, packing faster than I’ve ever packed in my life. My heart is pounding. I need to see him one more time. I take care to make sure that the CD he left me is in my shoulder bag so I can listen to it on the bus.
Dragging my suitcase across the camp grounds is always my least favorite part of leaving camp, but right now I do it in half the time, leaving it near the other collection of suitcases. Mabel is there tracking them, and she takes my name down and what color my suitcase is. “The bus should be back in an hour, dear. Don’t be late.”
“I won’t. Mabel, I’m looking for Eric? You know, to say goodbye.”
Mabel freezes. “I’m sorry, Persephone. Eric got on the bus this morning. It was an easy enough run for his mother to drop him at home, and so he went.” She sees my face and pulls me into a quick hug. “Oh, I’m sorry dear. I thought that he would have told you that.”
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “I’m fine.”
I can’t say more than that, because I’m already walking away. But I barely turn my back before my face collapses into tears, and I have to get away from here. I need to be alone, and quickly. I don’t want anyone to see me cry, and I’m running.
People shout at me not to run as I fly past, but I don’t stop. And I find myself panting and out of breath at the waterfall. He left. He didn’t say goodbye. And I did this. I told him three weeks. But he did this too. He could have kissed me one last time. Just in case the worst happens.
Tears are pouring down my face, and I’m glad that the waterfall is here to mask the sound. I pull my CD player out of my bag and fumble for the disc he left me. Just like I thought it would be, it’s the song he wrote for me. Not the best quality, but it’s enough to listen to. It’s all I have of him right now.
I close my eyes, turn up the volume, and cry.
21
Persephone
Present
How could I let myself do this? I’m idiot. The tears are blinding me enough that it takes me longer than it normally would to make it down the path. I try to move quickly, because I’m half-way expecting footsteps to come pounding down the dirt behind me.
But Eric doesn’t come after me. Just like before. He didn’t fight for me. He left early and didn’t say goodbye. Just like I said, we’re re-living this over again. Like we’re stuck a loop in one of those bad sci-fi movies. But this is real life and it’s far more painful than I thought.
God, how could I be so stupid?
Finally, I make it back to my cabin, and I manage to get control of myself enough to sneak in the door quietly. I don’t want the girls to hear me crying. Some of them may have put two and two together about me and Eric and I’m not going to make the rest of their summer as awkward as mine is about to be. Plus, everyone loves Eric, and that’s not fair to him.