“I can’t disappear, Cesar,” I say at last.
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t leave you.”
He smiles at that, but he’s still sad—I can see it in his eyes. “And I can’t leave you,” he replies.
“Then I’ll just do what you do. I’ll listen to Papa and I won’t give him a reason to hit me again.”
Cesar nods, but he doesn’t look proud like I’d hoped he would.
He looks… broken.
“You could disappear with me,” I say softly. “We could disappear together.”
Cesar raises his eyes to my face, but it’s like he’s looking right through me. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. There is no escape, Esme,” he replies. “Not from this life. It consumes you whole until there’s nothing left. The real world won’t accept you after you’ve been spit out by this one.”
The look in his eyes scares me. “Cesar…”
“Let’s not talk about disappearing anymore, okay?” he says abruptly.
I have no choice but to nod.
* * *
I open my eyes once more.
Fresh tears slip free. I had long since forgotten about that memory. The fact that I’ve remembered it now feels ominous and revelatory in equal measure.
I take a deep breath. It comes easy this time. Easier, at least.
I strain against my bindings. Suddenly, I feel one of the knots give.
Just a little bit. Just a tiny sliver of hope.
But that’s enough.
I suck in another inhale, regroup, and push harder. With each shove, the sheet slackens a tiny bit more. And more. And more.
Until, with one final push, I manage to get one hand free.
From there, it’s easy enough to disentangle myself from the sheet. I wriggle out of it and rush to the bedroom.
Crouching down on all fours, I pull out the gun that Artem’s stowed under the bed. Once I’m armed, I turn off all the lights in the cabin and slip outside, into the shadows and the moonlight.
The night outside is dewy and crisp. Bright stars overhead, and the trees standing tall and silent like soldiers.
My hand is weak and sweaty with anxiety as I hold the weapon and move forward into the trees. I don’t know what difference I can hope to make, but I’m resolved to try.
Maybe one bullet in this gun will mean the difference between life and death for Artem.
I don’t hear any noise to guide me. Ten minutes in, I realize that I don’t even know which direction to walk. I’m walking in circles for all I know. Trapped in my own head. Held back by my lack of instincts, my lack of experience.
And then I hear something.
A sharp noise that has me freezing in place.
It snaps me out of my daze. Suddenly, I’m acutely and painfully aware of the position I’ve put myself in.