That is all I am.
“Oh?” Eagle Tattoo asks. “Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll do whatever I want?” he asks again.
“Yes.”
“You’ll get naked and suck my cock?”
“If that’s what you want,” I whisper, my voice as deadpan as my face.
“You’ll spread your legs for me?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“You’ll take it in the ass?”
“If that’s what you want.”
He stares at my expressionless face. I can tell he’s annoyed, but I cannot give him any more concessions. If he’s expecting me make a show of enjoying my own rape, then that’s one line too far.
“But you can’t hurt my son.”
“Put him down over there,” Eagle Tattoo tells me. “I’m not fucking you with that brat in your arms.”
I stand up immediately and walk over to the largest sofa in the room. It’s soft and cushy and I settle Phoenix into the ample cushion. Then I put a cushion on the open side of the sofa just to secure him.
I know I don’t have to worry—he’s still too young to roll—but I do it anyway.
I feel numb. That feeling scares me more than anything else. Am I really going to lie down and let him rape me?
Yes.
Yes you are, if it means you can protect Phoenix.
There’s pride in this. There’s dignity in this, even if it seems like both are long gone.
Save your son. Save your little bird.
I draw in a deep, shuddering breath and steel myself against the horrors that await me.
And I make a promise to myself, to Artem, to Phoenix: no matter what happens, I won’t cry. I refuse to shed a single tear here.
“Hurry the fuck up,” Eagle Tattoo orders me.
The sound of his voice has my skin crawling with disgust and new rage.
And the reality of my situation settles over me like a cold shower.
“You’re strong Esme,” Cesar says, his voice clear as a bell in my head. “You were always so much stronger than me. Don’t take this sitting down.”
“I’m alone, Cesar.”
“No, you’re not. You have me.”
“You left me a long time ago.”