She stretched out even farther, surprised when her hands hit the edges of the bed and still did not find Maverick. She blinked her eyes open, rolling over to look around the room. Every movement rustled the sheets and blankets, making Maverick’s scent even stronger.
Just when she was beginning to worry that she had failed in her bodyguard duties because they had fallen into a sex-induced stupor, Pilar heard the telltale clank of a utensil against a pan. Seconds later, the savory scent of bacon reached her, and her stomach grumbled loudly.
Pilar smiled, giving herself another few minutes of the warm, relaxed feeling. She had never felt like this before … so safe, so loved. She didn’t have to rush off to be somewhere to worry about anyone else. There was only her and this world of soft sheets and the scent of her lover rising from her own skin.
Slowly, she sat up, the promise of food finally tugging her out of bed. She had to run to her own room for fresh clothes and washing up, then headed into the kitchen.
She was eager to see Maverick but nervous too. She felt more with him than she ever had with anyone else, and she wanted to feel that way again … every day and all night too. She also knew it was never going to work.
The restraints had been almost shredded while Maverick pleasured himself with her body, and she had held back the whole time. She wanted him so very much. But if she couldn’t be all that she was with him, what hope did they have?
When she entered the kitchen, he turned and smiled, his dark brown eyes lighting up the second he saw her. Pilar could see that she made him very happy … all she really wanted was his happiness. How could she take herself away from him?
Breaking her own heart was something she was prepared to do. She’d do anything for him. But breaking his heart? That was intolerable.
“Hi,” she said almost shyly. Maverick grinned and hurried over to give her a quick kiss.
“Hi,” he replied, motioning for her to sit. Pilar’s stomach growled as he placed a plate in front of her, piled up with scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, and corn biscuits.
“You went all out,” she said, grinning.
He grinned back. “I knew you’d be starving.”
Her heart hurt just a little. He was really making an effort. She focused on her food for a few minutes as Maverick sat and started on his own modest plate.
Eventually, she had to say what was on her mind. She looked up, and as if he sensed her gaze, he looked up at the exact same time.
Those eyes. I can’t get enough of them.
“Maverick …” She began. “Last night was … well. It was magical.”
“I know,” he said softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand.
“It was very difficult, as well.”
He sighed, looking away as he took his hand back.
“Yes, I know that too,” he said, taking a sip of coffee. “The restraints were more than just physical. I could feel it all over both of us. Coming between us.”
Pilar watched him carefully. There was anger in his expression, some deep conflict that she had never seen before. She longed to know what it was, but she was afraid to ask.
“Yes, even tied up, I was worried about hurting you,” she whispered. Maverick turned his eyes back to her, and they were full of pain.
Pilar felt a jolt of insight. Did he wish he was stronger? Did he want to be something else so he could please her?
She rejected this idea angrily. She liked him exactly as he was. She would never want him to change.
“It doesn’t look like there’s much hope for us, does it?” he said, trying to smile. She knew it was an attempt at a joke, but it was far too real for her to find it funny.
They both went back to their food, and the conversation began to flow easily and organically the way it always did. Soon they were laughing, reaching out to touch each other’s hands and leaning in as if they were about to share soft, secret kisses. Pilar decided to relax and enjoy this feeling, at least for now. Fighting it was completely useless.
They would have to figure something out, eventually. Being so drawn to each other yet unable to be themselves was a recipe for destruction.
And the scary thing is I don’t even care.
Pilar refused to let herself be miserable. She was happy with Maverick, and thinking about the future was pointless. No one could know what the day would bring, and there were too many unknowns in both their lives. With danger stalking her love, she decided she did not have time or mental space to worry about conventional romance.
Figure out who’s trying to kill him. Then worry about if you can settle behind a white picket fence.