Lou was also wearing a denim jacket that had pink sequins stitched onto it. Harper liked to personalize her clothes by sewing diamonds, lace, and other appliques on them. She would also vengefully do it to your clothes if you pissed her off. When Lou had asked her to “jazz up” his jacket, she’d hoped the pink sequins would annoy him. Nope. The crazy bastard liked them.
Knox would bet that most humans would be surprised to find that Lucifer was not actually the ruler of hell. Lou moved there and brought order to it after having some sort of dispute with God. He wasn’t a one-dimensional malevolent being either. Harper had once described him as a psychopathic child with bi-polar and OCD. That about summed him up.
Lou didn’t ask much of people, but he did have three laws. One, demons needed to conceal their existence from humans. Two, they must not be caught breaking human laws. Three, they must never cause harm to a child – human or demon.
“You have a nice tan going on. I hope you spent your vacation trying to get our Harper pregnant.”
Knox rubbed his forehead. “This again?”
“Why wait? It’s a logical step to make in a committed relationship.” Lou narrowed his eyes. “You are committed to her, right?”
“Of course I am. Now why are you here?” Hearing footsteps, Knox turned to watch as Harper walked into the room.
Lou took one look at her round stomach and grinned like a loon. “Well, would you look at that.” He stood. “We’re gonna have a baby! Score!” He patted Knox’s back. “I knew you’d come through in the end.” Crossing to Harper, he bent down. “Well, hello there, baby Luc —”
“Don’t say it,” she snapped.
“You haven’t yet told me why you’re here,” said Knox.
Lou looked affronted. “Do I need a reason to visit my friends?”
Knox shot an impatient look at the most antisocial being he’d ever known. “You don’t consider us your friends. You don’t want friends.”
“I told you, I’m branching out from cold and pure evil.” He turned back to Harper, smiling. “How far pregnant are you?”
“Twenty-one weeks.”
His excitement was quickly replaced by irritation. “You have nine weeks left and you’re only telling me this now?”
She pursed her lips. “Well… yes. But you’re still one of the first to know.”
And now, mercurial as ever, Lou was once again delighted. “How’ve you been? Cravings? Backache? Nausea? Mood swings? I’ve heard that eighty percent of pregnant women have seriously bad mood swings. Like scary bad.”
“I am not having mood swings.”
Knox folded his arms. “While you’re here, Lou, answer me a question. Why do you think Jonas wanted to meet with you?”
“No idea,” said Lou, retaking his seat.
“You’re not even curious?”
“Nope.” Lou drank some of his smoothie. “Earth business does not interest me.”
Yeah, Knox knew that, but still… “We need to know what Jonas wants from you. Talk to him. Find out.”
“I can’t. See, I have this thing. I don’t do things that bore me.” Lou set down his glass. “Deals are boring. Jonas wants to offer me a deal. Ergo…”
Knox ground his teeth. “Lou —”
“I don’t concern myself with what goes on between the Primes. It’s all mind-numbingly dull. Now a baby who can singlehandedly lay waste to the universe, on the other hand, has me fascinated.”
Harper’s mouth tightened. “He or she will not lay waste to anything – nor will you attempt to teach them to do so.”
“We’re keeping the pregnancy quiet for now, Lou,” Knox told him. “We need you to do the same.”
Lou lifted his hand, as if to pledge an oath. “You can be sure that I will do nothing to threaten the upcoming birth of our little Luc —”
“We are not calling the baby Lucifer,” growled Harper, fists clenched.
Lou leaned toward Knox and said quietly, “Notice the mood swing? The stats don’t lie.”
Harper let out a long breath. “Why are you even here?”
Lou lifted a brow. “Expecting someone else?”
“Preferably someone who doesn’t come uninvited, rifle through our kitchen, and help themselves to stuff. It’s like having a stray dog turn up all the time.”
Lou sniffed at her. “That’s unfair. I don’t shit on your floor.”
“It’s important that we find out what Jonas wants from you,” Knox interrupted. “It could be related to the attack on Harper.”
Straightening in his seat, Lou frowned. “What attack?”
“Someone hired hunters to steal her wings.”
His eyes widened. “Get out of town! Really? Someone out there is honestly that stupid?” He pouted as he looked at Harper’s stomach. “Poor baby must have been in such distress.”
“I’m fine, in case you were wondering,” she said dryly.
“I don’t need to wonder. I can see that you’re fine.” Lou turned to Knox. “What I don’t see is how the attack could have had anything to do with Jonas. It’s highly unlikely that he knows she has wings.”
Knox narrowed his eyes. “How do you know?”
“I know lots of things.” Lou poked his temple. “I’m a well of information.”
Knowing from past experience how tight-lipped the devil could be, Knox didn’t bother pushing for an answer. “Jonas is upset with Jolene right now. The person who sent the hunters after Harper also hired someone to kidnap Harper’s cousin.”
Lou’s mouth fell open. “Risking Jolene’s wrath? Oh, well, then they really are stupid. Or suicidal. Both works. That woman is mean. Giving me packets of chips that open upside down and putting her T.V. volume on an uneven number just to see me cry. How can someone be that cruel?”
Yeah, her grandmother really did love to poke at his OCD streak. Still, Harper frowned. “Do you really feel that you, the devil, are in a position to judge people? You know what, don’t answer that. Look, I get that ‘helping’ people isn’t really your thing. But if Jonas wants to make a deal with you, it can’t be good. Even if he has nothing to do with the attack on me or the attempt to kidnap my cousin, it’s still important to know what he wants. It could be something really bad. You could stop it from happening.”
Head tilted, Lou looked at her curiously. “Are you… are you trying to appeal to my conscience?” He snorted. “That inner voice gave up on me a long time ago. Honestly, trying to make me feel bad is more pointless than the ‘ay’ in ‘okay’. If self-centeredness could bounce, I’d be in orbit. And wouldn’t that be fun?”
Harper sighed. “At least you’re honest about it.”
“My shrink says I shouldn’t hold things in or pretend to be what I’m not. He says I should just be myself.”
“Yeah, that was bad advice.”
“And yet, I have a fan club,” Lou said smugly. “Several.”
“You mean you have Satanic cults that worship you.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, seemingly unimpressed by them. “Most of the weirdos are like diapers – self-absorbed, full of shit, and need to be disposed of. But I do appreciate that they use symmetrical symbols. Not crazy about their obsession with six-six-six, though. The number six is founded on odd numbers. My favorite number is eight – perfectly symmetrical. They should try eight-eight-eight.”
The guy truly was out of his mind. Harper simply said, “Well, if I meet any Satanic people, I’ll let them know.”
“That’s sweet of you.” His head tilted and his gaze turned inward. “Hmm. I’m needed elsewhere. Must go. Harper, you take care of our little munchkin. Knox, no, before you ask again, I’m not meeting with Jonas. Even if I tried to help, I’d somehow make it all worse. Tell me I’m wrong.”
The thing was… Knox couldn’t.
“Besides, you don’t need my help. You have this. You can manage just fine.” He saluted Knox. “Carpe diem!” And then, in a blink, he was gone.