He’d always thought that to need someone would make him vulnerable. Now Knox knew differently. Yes, Harper had power over him, but he knew she’d never abuse that power. He could trust her with it, just as she trusted him with the same power he had over her. He’d tried to lure her to him using various manipulation tactics, and all the while he’d been unknowingly falling for this she-demon. “Levi’s right; you’re my weakness.”
Harper frowned, confused but knowing one thing: “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Control is essential to me, Harper. Essential for many reasons. If anything happened to you, if you were taken from me, that control would be gone. What I did to Riordan and his followers…that would be nothing compared to what I’d do if someone took your life.”
If he thought he was scaring her, he was wrong. “You think I wouldn’t seek vengeance if anything happened to you?” Harper fisted her hand in his shirt. “I’d make sure the bastards got whatever they deserved.”
He cocked his head. “You would, wouldn’t you?”
“Duh.” How could that surprise him?
“That’s the thing, though, baby. You’d track down and punish the person or people responsible, and you’d give them what they deserved. But you’d stop there. Even with your demon riding you hard, you’d hold back.”
“You have enough control to hold back your demon.”
He smiled wanly, refusing to lie to her. “Baby, I wouldn’t want to. I’d make them all pay. But I wouldn’t stop there. It wouldn’t be enough. Not for me, not for my demon. So many would die, so much would be destroyed.” It had to be a hard weight for her to carry. “You need to live.”
As his gaze held hers, Harper sensed that – maybe only subconsciously – he expected some level of rejection here. Maybe he thought his admission would spook or repel her. Hell, maybe it should have. But although it left her a little off-balance to know she was so important to someone, it also thrilled her. He said she’d given him one thing no one else ever had: total acceptance. Well, he’d given her something no one else ever had: the feeling of being indispensable to someone.
When Harper straddled him, curled her arms around his neck, and melted into his chest, Knox tucked her head under his chin. She fit right there, like it was exactly where she belonged. He smoothed his hands up and down her back, sensing she was offering the reassurance that she still accepted him and his demon just as they were.
He was a dark breed that had no right to walk the Earth. But he didn’t hate what he was. Quite the opposite, Knox liked the power, the rush, and the added strength. He liked the control that it allowed him to maintain. Liked that he never felt vulnerable. He accepted the creature inside him that had protected and saved him when no one else would. Knox hadn’t expected that anyone else would ever accept the entity, though. He’d never thought they should. He hadn’t asked it of Harper, but she’d done it anyway. She’d also accepted Knox, brutal bastard though he was. She was a total wonder to him.
“You could beg me to let you go, but I wouldn’t.” He’d told her before that he didn’t intend to give her freedom, but he needed her to understand how utterly serious he was. If she chose to leave, he’d find a way to make her want to stay.
Harper pulled back to look him dead in the eye. “Okay, first of all, I only beg in the bedroom – and that’s on rare occasions. Don’t think I’ll ever do it under any other circumstances. Second of all, I’ll never be anyone’s captive; no one can keep me anywhere that I don’t want to be.” She was an imp for all intents and purposes, she could escape from anywhere. “Lastly, if you majorly fuck up and hurt me badly – like cheating on me, for instance – I’m gone, Thorne. But if you mean you still expect me to go based purely on what breed you are, I’m pissed that you think so little of me.”
For a moment, Knox couldn’t speak. Her reactions threw him every time. “Let’s address all those responses, shall we? It’s true that you beg in the bedroom occasionally. I happen to enjoy it. However, I’d never expect you to beg me for anything; if you ever want something, you’ll have it. Except, of course, your freedom. As for your next point, it wasn’t a good idea on your part to use the word ‘captive’ – that has all kinds of sexual fantasies running through my head. So be prepared for the consequences, and remember you only have yourself to blame.”
When she would have spoken, Knox put a finger to her mouth. “Thirdly, I’d never betray you or purposely hurt you. You’re mine to care for, and you’ll never be anything but cared for. And the idea that I might ever want another woman is just plain fucking stupid anyway. Lastly, I don’t think little of you. If I did, I wouldn’t want you as a mate, would I? But the fact is that I’ll be a difficult person to be with. Controlling, possessive, selfish, highly sexual, inexperienced with emotional intimacy, and I always want what I want exactly when I want it. I’ve told you before, I don’t have a lot of good in me. You’re not getting a very good deal here, baby.”
“Oh, and I’m some kind of innocent, perfect maiden?” She’d be bored if she was, to be honest. “Let’s look at a little thing called ‘reality.’ Everybody has flaws, Knox. No one is easy to be with. I don’t think you actually realize just how crazy I’m going to make you. I’m impossible to control, I have a bad temper, I curse like nobody’s motherfucking business, and I’m – quite often deliberately – annoying. I’m also stingy with trust, and I’m uncomfortable when people buy me shit or even just be nice to me. Even I know that’s just weird. I don’t exactly have a lot of experience with emotional intimacy either. But you accept all my shit just like I accept yours. That’s how it works.”