“Well yeah, I’m very excited for early retirement so I can follow you around like Gunner does.” I tease.
She gives me a soft smile and rests her head on my shoulder. “I’m not willing to lose you guys. I don’t want you to worry about that. This is strictly job and friend oriented. I couldn’t leave you guys if I tried.”
That hadn’t even crossed my mind. She kisses me softly, thanks me again, then grabs ice cream out of the fridge. She only eats Ice cream when she’s struggling with something or upset. Hopefully, something – anything – I said helped, but … but now there’s a rock lodged in my chest.
Being with four men is a lot. The older she gets, the less she might appreciate it. What if we invest five years in her and then she decides, like Bella, she only wants one of us, or worse, none of us? I try to shake my head of that thought.
She’s not Bella. How many times did I say that in Hawaii? I shake my head at myself and reach into the fake potted plant, pulling out the plant to get to my cigarettes. I haven’t smoked in a long while, other than the occasional social cigarette.
But I light one up now and feel the nicotine soften the worries.
Sophie isn’t shy. She’d tell us if she was having second thoughts. I know that. She’s just having a crisis when it comes to the future. Maybe she’s picking up on Roman’s issues – his sudden dissatisfaction with work.
I got through mine when I left modeling and had something stable, where I could set limits and boundaries that made me feel safe while knowing that I was being productive, but that’s not for everyone.
“A cigarette?” Gunner asks as he brings a glass half-filled with brandy out and sits at the table like a proper person. “Looks like Carl is fucking us all up.”
“Sophie’s going through … she’s not sure she belongs at the company.” I revise.
Gunner nods then looks out over the park while taking a drink. “She doesn’t.”
“What?” I stare at him.
He shrugs. “She’s young and eager to see the world. She had to go right from high school to college and from there to her master’s degree, and then got dumped into her father’s company. Sophie hates being handed things and I’m sure she feels like this was all laid out for her.”
“We weren’t.”
“Which is why I’m not worried about us. Shechoseus. She chooses us every fucking day.” He smiles slightly. “She just doesn’t want to let anyone down and I think if she left the company, that would be the hardest part – the guilt of letting her parents down.”
I rub the back of my head and take another long drag. “How can we help her with this?”
“We can support her.” Gunner’s eyes sharpen. “And make sure that she’s happy and gets to do things for herself. We should talk to her about planning this trip to Paris so it’s not a surprise for her. I think she’d like to have a say.”
“Unlike Italy?”
“And Hawaii.” Gunner agrees. “And we’d need to let her choose to do things other than fuck us, no matter how tempting that is. Imagine fucking her in a garden in the middle of the day. Fuckin excellent.”
I roll my eyes, but see his point. Everything in Italy was planned for us and she wasn’t allowed to leave the villa without one of us. The one time she did … it’s good that Holden was there. In Hawaii, she could only be on Roman’s arm and had to pretend and make everyone else happy.
“She needs to make herself happy, not us. She knows that right?” I ask. “Or have we just accepted that’s how she is?”
“Sophie enjoys doting, but I think we can do more for her.” Gunner nods. “This weekend let’s give her an option. I hear Rent is going to be on Broadway. And of course, the MET is doing a Van Gogh walk-through experience. There’s the soccer game. Let’s see what shewantsto do without any input from us.”
“And then what?”
“I’m not allowed to meddle, remember?” Gunner winks and finishes his drink. “Don’t get stuck out here too long, we still have things to take care of before Carl shows up. Namely, Neal.”
“I already sent that email. He’s meeting with me and a non-biased H.R. rep tomorrow. Even though I suggested having him talk to Sophie.”
“Why? So he can hit on her?” Gunner snorts. “You’re smarter than that.”
Gunner pauses at the sliding glass door. “One week with fuck face Carl Martin. Then we can get back to Sophie and whatever Roman’s hiding.”
“Gunner,” I warn.
“No more secrets. We agreed that. They get us in trouble every time and I’m over dealing with them. It’s that simple to me.” He shuts the door behind him.
I finish my cigarette, ash it out, and throw it away, deep under some other things. I hate the way the smell lingers on me and take care of that with a shower and brushing my teeth. Before I can make it to my office, I see Sophie on her phone in the living room.