I glance at the door, to make sure Gunner didn’t hang back to startle us and sigh. “You want to marry her.”
Roman stills, his whole body going tense. I nod. That’s the only confirmation I need. It hasn’t been the hardest thing to figure out. Roman’s traditional family, the way he’s been taught to live, the way he’s been holding back lately.
“I figured as much.”
“I’m not going to ask her for a while,” He murmurs. “even though she found the ring.”
I nearly spit out my water. “You already have a ring?”
“I bought it in Hawaii. I was … overcome with emotion and … and I know it’s going to happen, Hold. Can you see yourself with someone else?”
He has a point there. I shake my head slowly. “No. I can’t, but you know that this could cause trouble.”
“Which is why I’m delaying. Sophie insists that we all talk about it first, which is of course what I was going to do. I’m not spontaneous. I wasn’t just going to drop down and propose without talking to you guys. I have some decency left in me.”
“I’m not accusing you of anything, Roman,” I say simply.
He calms a little, then rubs his forehead. “It’s a mess.”
“I get it,” I tell him honestly. “Sophie is … she’s the one for us. But if you don’t make it clear that the relationship dynamic isn’t going to change, you know what you can expect from Gunner and Nick.”
“I know.”
“And you know Gunner is going to bristle a bit. Only one of us can do it legally.”
“But couldn’t she marry all of us … in spirit? I don’t know, something that would make it feel even. I know she’d feel horrible if you guys didn’t get the same opportunity.”
She would. I can practically see her guiltily walking down the aisle, leaning over to look at the three of us as Roman’s groomsmen to make sure we’re okay, constantly worried. It would be terrible for her.
“Let’s work on making Paris happen first,” I say – Gunner’s terrible about keeping secrets when it comes to plans. “Let’s make sure we can take the time off, that we can all work a few days a week depending on how long we’re staying, and … and then we can go from there.”
Roman nods, but I can tell it’s still weighing on him. “I won’t bring it up, Roman. That’s on you to do.”
“I know.”
“So I’ll let you explain, let you get it all out, and I’ll keep your secret, even from Sophie.” I offer.
Roman nods to me in thanks and we call it done … for now.
SOPHIE
Saying goodbye to Valerie is harder than I thought. It’s only been two days! Well, two days and a Starbucks trip, but I cling to her after we get her single bag from the car. The person who makes sure no one is parked for more than three minutes yells at us, then blows a whistle before we part ways.
I wave to her and make myself drive away without looking back. I dab at my tears, deal with New York traffic, and by the time I get back to the house, I just want to curl up with my guys and enjoy my own personal pity party.
In college, Valerie and I spent so many late nights together, making each other laugh, talking about guys, watching silly or dark YouTube videos. Basically, we did everything but schoolwork together. We distracted one another from the bad shit and got through the worst of it together.
And now I have to settle for the weekend because, contrary to what my mom says, Iaman adult. An adult with a job, living with her boyfriends, staring at a future that has a giant question mark.
The only sure thing is that Roman wants to marry me and that I want all four of them forever. It feels like knowing a lot, but really … it feels like nothing at all. It’s not a plan. I don’t know if I want to work at my dad’s company forever. I don’t know if I want to live in New York forever.
I’d like to travel. I’d like to try new hobbies. I’d like to have kids and spend as much time with them as possible, maybe even be a stay-at-home mom until they’re in school and maybe find something to do part-time after that.
I just don’t want to do anything for the wrong reason – like checking off some out-of-date requirement that someone made in the fifties and is no longer applicable. When I unlock the door to the house and walk-in, I’m so focused on my thoughts, I don’t notice Roman until I walk right into him.
He lifts my chin and searches my face. “You’re going to miss her.”
“I really am.” I hug him and feel someone else hug me from behind. “No wonder you guys chose to live with your best friends. Seeing people you care about regularly as an adult is nearly impossible!”