CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
FIONA
If it weren’t for the fact that I’m essentially getting alien married, this ball wouldn’t feelthat muchdifferent than cotillion. Just like the last time I went to a ball here on Triton, a whole group of women comes to dress me up in beautiful clothes, pinning my hair up with seashells and leaving part of it to tumble down my back. They paint my face with the same gold that Nereus always wears, my eyes shimmering and my cheeks glowing pink in the soft light of my room. I don’t know any of these women, nor do I trust them. I don’t know who works for Calypso, or is spying on me for Cressida. But I let myself fall into the excitement of the night, my whole body feeling like it might catch fire and burn.
Because how many girls get married in a palace? How many get not one, butfiveincredible men?
And to wear a dress like this…?
Cressida arrives just as the handmaidens put the final touches on my ensemble, draping a capelet of aquamarine gemstones across my shoulders. A single strand of gemstones drips like water between my breasts, every bit of me sparkling and radiant. I inhale deeply as I stare at my reflection, smoothing out the sleek white gown that’s alittlemore sheer than I expected.
I guess I’m about to have sex in front of a whole court. Not like now is the time to be modest.
Cressida comes through the door, still dressed in a deep black gown. She’s worn dark colors ever since the attack on Triton, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever see her wear anything bright again. Her eyes settle on my dress, her expression staying neutral as she steps closer.
“Leave us,” she commands the handmaidens.
They obey right away, picking up the rest of their belongings and vacating the room. This is the same place where I was so miserable the last time we were on Triton, where I lost so much of what made meme.
I’m more confident now, but Cressida still has a destabilizing effect on me, especially with her cold stare. And my tension only gets worse when she doesn’t say anything, her hands squarely on her stomach. She’s wearing a flowy robe, but I don’t think she’s showing yet. Still, I can tell she’s being protective of her unborn child.
Her unborn daughter.
“You wanted something?” I ask quietly, my voice barely working.
She smiles then, but it’s not ahappylook. In fact, she looks incredibly sad, or even angry. “That’s a complex question,” she says.
I raise my eyebrows and stare down at my hands, where two sparkling bracelets decorate my wrists. “Okay…”
“I came to escort you to the ball,” she says. “And also to…to provide a word of advice.”
Her hand falls to her stomach once again, and I brace myself for tears. It’s not like Cressida and I are friends—I don’t think we ever will be, when she’s one of the coldest people I’ve ever met—but I feel for her. Every time I look into her eyes, I can imagine how hard it would be to lose any of my men.
The grief is written all over her. It always will be, I think.
“I’ll take any advice you have,” I say. “You’ve been at this a lot longer than I have.”
I don’t get a reaction—not a laugh, not a smile. She just keeps her hand on her belly, staring into my eyes with a striking lack of self-consciousness. “Don’t let yourself get too close,” she murmurs.
I frown in confusion, not sure if I heard her right. “I’m sorry–don’t let yourself get too close?”
Cressida tilts her head, a chill in her green eyes. “To them,” she says. “To your men.”
It isn’t what I’m expecting to hear, and my feelings about it are…confused, to be sure. Rage instantly swells in my chest, burning my lungs as I suck in a sharp breath. My eyes prickle like I might cry, but I stem the tears, trying to resist the sensation of just being emotionally slapped in the face.
“Not exactly what a girl wants to hear on her wedding day,” I grit out, trying to make light of her comment.
“I say this because there isa lotriding on your mission,” she says. “Not only the safety of your planet, but now mine. And I need you focused on victory, not on lust.”
“I’m trying not to be insulted, but you’re not making it easy,” I tell her.
“You’re an impulsive, emotional girl; I need to protect my interests,” Cressida says, her hand still on her stomach. There’s a hint of malice in her tone now, cruelty in her eyes. “When you’re bonded to those men, you’re going to feel their pain. If they’re stabbed in the gut, you’ll feel it yourself. You’ll know when they’re wounded, when they die. And if you let it slow you down…it could be the end of us all.”
I want to break down, curse her out, let out a string of insults. But I keep myself composed, reminding myself that I’m a guest in her court–and that I won’t be for much longer, whether we’re successful or not.
And I have something to tell her.
“My connection with those men is the thing that is going tosave Homeworld,” I say. “They’re the ones that have brought me this far. I had to fall in love with Kye and Nereus and Taln and Ryker and…and even Orion, before I had any interest in saving their planet.”