“I want to give him just a little longer to meet up with us,” I say, shaking my head. I haven’t so much as tasted my tea, and the metal cup is burning my palms, but I’d rather feel the pain than the terror. “Itrustthat he’s going to get off of that planet without any issue, and I don’t…I don’t think I can stand it if he doesn’t—”
A chime sounds around us, and my heart feels like it stops. Kye’s eyes narrow like he hears something we don’t, and then he glances over at the control panel by the door. “Well, speak of the devil,” he says. “We’re being hailed.”
He stands to walk to the cockpit and I race after him, abandoning my tea. Kye slides into the pilot’s seat just as Orion’s voice echoes around me, and I practically slump into the chair beside Kye.
“Requesting permission to dock.”
“Permission granted,” Kye says. “Glad you’re not dead.”
“Surprised to hear that,” Orion’s voice says, a wry smirk in his tone. “Docking in three…two…one…”
I don’t even feel the Wrath move; the ship is so big that it doesn’t shudder like the Naiad would have. Still, I can’t seem to admit to myself that we’re all safe and accounted for, that I didn’t get one of my men killed today.
First Vehyris, then Borealis, then Scylla. Disaster onevery single oneof those planets. How long will our luck hold?
“Hey,” Kye murmurs. “He’s okay. You can breathe again.”
I let out a shaky exhale that doesn’t seem to do anything to help me calm down; instead, it just makes my heart race. I don’t even realize Kye is reaching for me before his hand is wrapped around mine, warm and calloused, and it makes me fucking cry.
I swipe at my eyes with my other hand, sniffling pitifully.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I know I’m being silly.”
“You’re not,” he says. “You should never be ashamed of caring.”
There was a time not too long ago that he would have accused me of faking my tears. Not this time.
I wonder what Nereus said to him.
“You know that’s why I act the way I do, right?” I say quietly. “Because I can’t stand the thought of losing you, but I’m constantly being asked to put you all in harm’s way. And I…”
“I get it,” Kye says when I trail off. “I know I didn’t for a while, but I think I just had blinders on, I guess.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
Kye heaves a deep breath, raking his hand through his hair. He doesn’t like talking about these things—I’m well aware of that. In any other circumstances, this would be the moment when he sets his fingers vibrating and distracts me with an orgasm.
But he doesn’t do that.
He closes his eyes before he speaks, his voice shaky when he opens them again. I can tell that this is hard for him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look quite this vulnerable.
“You reminded me of what it felt like to be human,” he says. “And I selfishly wanted to keep you like that, when you were still young and…fuck, Fi, I didn’t even see your potential. I just saw the pretty girl I wanted to take away from all this.”
“No,” I say. “Don’t turn this around on yourself. I fucked up. I own that.”
“Maybe we both did,” he says. “Any chance we can live with that?”
“As long as I don’t get us all killed,” I mutter.
“Fi, stop.” Kye’s hand tightens around mine and he pulls me just a touch closer. Now is it time for the inevitable kiss? The one that will empty my mind of every thought but getting closer to him?
It still doesn’t come.
He’s so close to me I can see the ridges of his lips, the gold in his eyes. A strand of dark hair falls on his forehead as he speaks, his voice so quiet I have to strain to hear him.
I can tell he means every word, and it makes my heart race. He reaches down so he can hold both of my hands in his, and for a second, his gaze flits to my mouth.
Instead of closing the space between us, he continues talking.