He rubs his temple. He’s holding back.
“There’s nobody else here, Kye,” I say. “You can tell me the truth. You can always tell me the truth.”
He smiles, a little sadly. “It’s easy for me to forget that you’re young sometimes,” he says. “I know you’re like ninety or whatever, but you often say these things; they’re very sweet and very wrong.”
“What?”
“People make mistakes all the time when they’re trying their best,” he says. “I’ve…”
“What?”
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he says. “But I’m not as young as the two of you and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. This is potentially a species ending one. Right now, the woman you intend to marry is about to negotiate with slavers—hell, mass murderers. That’s what happens when planets run out of Elixir, right? I get that she’s going to be a queen, I guess I’m just trying to wrap my mind around her becoming a war criminal this quickly. That’s record time, right? Since she’s not even technically queen yet?”
I know Kye is angry at Fiona. I don’t know if it’s possible to fix this. But the way he talks about her makes anger nibble at my nerves, fraying the last edges of my self-control. “Speaking to someone doesn’t make them a war criminal, Kye,” I say. “I might be young, but I know that. She’s not doing this for fun. She’s doing this to save us.”
He stands up suddenly. He’s only inches away from my face, and for the first time in a very long time, the electricity between us doesn’t feel like it’s going to end with him pinning me against the wall and grinding his cock against my own. His hands are fists at his side and there’s defiance written all over his posture, obvious from the way his brows knit as he looks down at me. “She’s doing this to saveyou,” he says. “She’s not doing anything for me. Is Homeworld really worth all the people here and on other planets that these people just…manipulate? Enslave?Murder?”
I look into his eyes and his expression crumbles when I splay my fingers on his chest, the metal of his body cool under my fingers.
These are the politics of people’s lives. The politics I was raised with, cold arithmetic and self-interest.
It’s a part of me I don’t think Kye will ever understand. So I just let myself touch him and hope that’s enough.
“No,” he says, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close enough to him so that he can bury his face against my shoulder. I don’t want to point out that he’s arguing with himself. “That’s not true. She’s trying to keep you alive. I’m just…”
“What?” I ask into his ear.
“I was under Lamia’s control for so long,” he says breathlessly. “I just did her bidding and now Fiona is about to start negotiations with a species that abducts and indentures people for hundreds of years. I know that my concerns aren’t nearly as important as peace in the universe, but fuck, every time she does something, it makes it very clear that she never cared about me at all.”
“Fiona loves you, Kye,” I whisper, my hand on the back of his head.
He snickers, pulling away from me. “Yeah, okay. Do you know how long she’ll take?”
“No,” I say. “Until nightfall, probably. Later, if things go well. Why?”
“Because I don’t think I can be on this ship right now,” he says, tracing the outline of my jaw with his knuckles. “I’m going to ask Aramis to go for a drink with me, come back in an hour.”
“And then what?” I ask, fighting the fear spreading through my body. We really need him here in case things go wrong, but if he says he’s only going to take an hour, then I believe him.
I can’t force him to stay here. Never again.
“And then I’m going to sneak into your quarters,” he says, winking at me. “And I’m going to make you scream until your throat hurts.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KYE
I shouldreallystart working on my drinking, but Aramis is always willing to provide companionship when I just need to escape. The blond-haired Merati warrior is more than eager to get the hell off the Wrath, and I can’t exactly blame them.
The whole ship is like a powder keg of sexual frustration and looming dread.
I’ve been on Vehyris a few times, and it wasn’t all that long ago that I flew here in Lamia’s service while she visited with family in the Empire. But things have definitely taken a turn for the worst. I can see the impact of Elixir mining all over the place, from the abject poverty at port to the disabilities sported by a lot of the port’s residents. A milky blind eye here and a limp there illustrate what the planet’s new atmosphere and gravity is doing to people.
This is what’s happening on Homeworld; I know that. I know it’s getting urgent that we return and take down Lamia.
But what about all the other planets where this is happening? And what are we going to give the people causing it just for the sake of keeping ourselves safe?
“It’s fucked up, isn’t it?” Aramis says from beside me, raking their blond hair back. “That they force all these people to stay here when there’s Elixir deficiency on the planet…I can’t imagine. And I hate that this is happening on Homeworld.”