He hadn’t said it, but she’d heard the wistfulness in his voice, the same kind of wistfulness that crept in when he talked about the impending birth of Ronan’s baby. He’d suffered so much loss in his life. First his mother, then his little sister, Erin. He would want a family of his own someday.
He deserved a family of his own.
She had no doubt that he’d brush off her concerns about his future. They hadn’t put their feelings for each other into words, but she knew he wouldn’t risk the family business if he didn’t care about her.
He would tell her it didn’t matter. He might even mean it in the moment.
But one day the realization would hit him that he would never have children of his own, and whether he would be willing to admit it or not, that loss would be her fault.
If she was smart, she would end it now. Scratch that: if she was smart she would never have let it begin.
And yet the thought of breaking things off with him, of never seeing him again, never laying in his arms or feeling his hands and lips on her body again, was incomprehensible. Staying with him, allowing their doomed relationship to continue, was the only cowardly thing she’d ever done.
She glanced at the time on her computer and stood. He would be at her apartment soon, and she still needed to stop for ice cream.
She closed her laptop, added it to her bag, and turned out the lights on her way out of her office. She started for the elevators in the lobby, then reconsidered and headed for the corner office at the end of the hall instead.
She wasn’t surprised to find it quiet, most of the lights already turned off. She was often the last one at her desk. Other than Nick, she didn’t have any reason to be home by a certain hour. She didn’t even have a cat.
Alexa found her boss Imani Washington — the only person who routinely outlasted Alexa at the office — with her feet on her desk, an open folder hiding her face. The city lights glowed beyond the windows, the office lit by the table lamp Imani used after hours when she tired of the harsh overhead lighting.
“Hey.” Alexa spoke softly, not wanting to startle her.
Imani lowered the folder to reveal a halo of curls framing a regal face and dark eyes. “Hey. Heading out?”
Alexa nodded. “I still have some work to do on the Orion appeal, but I’m going to do it from home. Pizza and ice cream are calling.”
And Nick.
Imani smiled. “That’s a pretty powerful call after a long day.”
“How about you?” Alexa asked. “You heading home soon?”
“In a bit,” Imani said. “William’s traveling. Thought I’d take advantage of the time to catch up on some of these reports.”
William Temple was one of the city’s most powerful criminal attorneys, which must have made for an interesting dynamic in the Washington-Temple home.
“I don’t blame you,” Alexa said. “Can I get you anything before I go?”
Imani smiled. “I’m good. But speaking of reports, have we gotten anything back on the Murphy investigation?”
Alexa’s heart seemed to skip a beat. “Not yet.”
“That’s strange. It’s been awhile hasn’t it?” Imani asked. “Since we requisitioned the investigation?”
Alexa nodded. “About six weeks. I’ll follow up this week.”
“Good. I’d like to either clear it from the roster or move it along,” Imani said. "We have too many pending cases to needlessly tie up resources.”
“Absolutely,” Alexa said.
Imani smiled. “You’re doing a terrific job, Alexa. I know you were disappointed about the Orion appeal, but it was to be expected. They’re just delaying the inevitable. You’re doing everything right.”
Alexa had to force herself to smile. Imani had been such a generous mentor. It hurt for Imani to praise her when Alexa was keeping such a huge conflict of interest from her boss.
The last thing Alexa deserved was praise.
“Thanks,” Alexa said. “See you tomorrow.”