He didn’t tell her and that was a choice even if it felt like something that hadn’t been a choice at all. Even if he was afraid that telling her would make her run away from him forever, and that was something he wouldn’t be able to stand.
“When you asked about my personal life, it made me realize that I don’t have much of one.” She laughed but it was shaded with sorrow. “I’m so busy, it’s easy to convince myself that it means my life is full, but to be honest, it’s mostly my work and the gym. I don’t even have a cat.”
He smiled. “That’s an easy thing to remedy.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I’m meant to take care of anything.”
He looked into her eyes. “Somehow I don’t believe that.”
She drew in a breath and sat a little straighter, the wall between them back in force. “I’ve confessed. It’s your turn.”
“My turn for what?” he asked.
“To tell me what your life is like. Besides work.”
He tapped his fingers on the table. “Work is a big part of it, and family.”
“Your brothers,” she said. “And Julia?”
He nodded. “And Elise, Julia’s sister. And Chief, Ronan’s dog.”
She smiled. “Sounds like a full house.”
“It is, but it’s nice. We go to the beach together when the weather’s nice, order food and watch reality TV.”
Her laughter rang through his heart. “No!”
He nodded. “I’m ashamed to admit it’s true.”
She studied him through narrowed eyes. “The Bachelor?”
He clutched his chest. “Am I so transparent?”
She held up her thumb and index finger an inch apart. “Little bit.”
Silence settled between them but this time it wasn’t nervous or awkward. It was just her, sitting across from him, a smile teasing her mouth, her eyes bright with something he couldn’t define, his own smile asserting itself even though he felt like a fool.
The rest of the meal passed too quickly for his liking. He regaled her with stories about Declan’s exploits, Ronan’s excitement over the prospect of becoming a father, and details about his own time with BPD. None of it was incriminating to any investigation at the AG’s office, but the truth was, somewhere along the way he forgot all about the AG’s office.
Maybe it was when she told him about her childhood — no siblings, but happy, middle-class, her parents still married, still in love — or maybe it was when she told him that her mom was her best friend or when she told him about the four hours a month she spent visiting the pediatric ward at Mass General, visiting with kids who’d been in accidents like hers or who were suffering from diseases they might not outlive.
He didn’t know. He only knew that she captivated him. That he could watch her face, listen to her voice, all day.
He was disappointed when she looked at her phone and announced that she had to go. They split the bill again and stepped out into the cold but sunny day.
She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “Well, thanks for — ”
“Do you want to… ” he said at the same time.
They laughed.
“Go ahead,” she said.
“I was just going to say that I play rugby on Sundays,” he said.
“Rugby?”
“It’s something I do in my free time, although not as often anymore.”