I’d had the rings, some kind of spontaneous purchase when I’d seen them. Simple gold bands with a small diamond in each. I reach into my pocket to look at the box that holds all three of them. Maybe it’s too flashy. Maybe they’ll be mad that I’m doing the asking.
Nibbling my bottom lip, I pace back and forth until I can see the ground under the pile of snow. My fingers are freezing and my cheeks hurt from the cold, but I can’t make myself turn around.
I put the rings back in the coat pocket when I hear a door shut. Turning around, I see Lief coming for me, no shirt at all. He claims me with an intense look in his eyes. “Pet, it’s too cold for you out here.”
“Are you even wearing shoes?” I demand.
He looks down. “No.”
“What the hell, Lief!” I shove him toward the house, but don’t move him at all. “Viking or not, frostbite is a thing. Go inside!”
He watches me. “You are out here, alone.”
“It’s not D.C. I’m safe.” I argue. But since he’s not moving, I wrap his coat around him. “I’m just thinking, go back inside.”
“Not without you.”
It frustrates me and warms my heart all at once. I groan but go back inside with him. I grumble to myself about him being too cavalier with his safety, but he watches me work in the kitchen.
“Did you and Valerie have fun in the snow?” Hunter teases when he comes downstairs. “I don’t see a snowman.”
“Chase is the snowman type. Not me,” Lief corrects him gently.
I give them both coffee, then give Chase coffee with whipped cream – his favorite – when he comes down. They all get good morning kisses. They argue about plans for the day, trying to one-up each other with what I’ll like most. I rest my elbow on the counter and put my hand on my cheek.
Until I see Lief reach into the coat pocket. Dread pricks my scalp. I reach into the pockets of my sweatpants. Empty. Fuck. My eyes lift to Lief and he arches an eyebrow at me. I shake my head and clasp my hands.
He stands, walks to me, and grabs my chin. “What the hell is in my hand right now?”
Hunter and Chase both go quiet. I swallow hard, then force a smile. “Me, Viking. I think that’s obvious.”
“Tell me or I’m pulling it out.”
“Lief.”
He pulls the black box out and I know Hunter and Chase have zeroed in on it. Considering how serious Lief is taking this, I feel like I misjudged where we are in our relationship. I shouldn’t have brought the ring. I shouldn’t have assumed.
I swallow hard.
I snatch the box from him, escape his grasp and get to the living room. My eyes burn as I try to control myself. I thought I could handle this ifItook the next step. Because then it sets the tone for the relationship – it will keep us as equals.
It’s taken so much self-talk and a few counseling sessions for me to even consider marriage. Because the men I love aren’t my father and they’ve made it clear that they won’t hurt me. That theycan’thurt me. We’re good together. They support me and my dreams. I support them. We talk about problems without yelling and throwing things.
And I love them. I love them so much it makes me stupid which is reason enough to marry them, right? Plus, it’s not like we are guaranteed the option to grow old. Not just because of their lives or the fact that they’re older. Just that life can be cruel and ...
“Valerie,” Hunter says from behind me.
I turn around and play with the box in my hands. “This wasn’t how I was supposed to tell you.”
“Where did you get the box?” Chase asks, his voice soft like he’s ready to calm me down.
Lief walks up next to Hunter and Chase and I take a step back, hitting my back against the window. I brush my finger over the velvet. I take a slow breath. “I love you three. A lot.”
“Valerie,” Lief says.
I shake my head. “I’ve had it for a while. I um ... I’ve worked hard to be able to do this because with you three working so hard on self-improvement, I realized I needed to grow as well. I needed to let go of my family issues. I needed to let go of my control issues and ... and this is a test of that right now.”
“Just talk to us, okay?” Hunter says gently. “If you’re overwhelmed we can wait.”